Thursday, 21 September 2017

[No. 547] ENDS

Or BEGINNINGS.

And it's all the same to me, actually[1], and ... ha![1], and it's all the same to me, actually[2], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and ... ha![2], and ... big time[1], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[1], and ... big time[2], and I want it, wild![1], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[2], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[1], and I want it, wild![2], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![1], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[2], and ... FFS![1], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![2], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[1], and ... FFS![2], and you should know how it works by now ...[1], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[1], and you should know how it works by now ...[2], and here, obviously / not ... over there[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[2], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[1], and here, obviously / not ... over there[2], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[1], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[2], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[1], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[2], and my patience is wearing thin, man[1], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[2], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[1], and my patience is wearing thin, man[2], and, so ... never mind[1], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[2], and you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and, so ... never mind[2], and Jesus H. - !!![1], and you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[1], and Jesus H. - !!![2], and speak, freak![1], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[2], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[1], and speak, freak![2], and ... or begins (again)[1], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[2], and it's all the same to me, actually[3], and ... or begins (again)[2], and ... ha![3], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and ... big time[3], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[3], and I want it, wild![3], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[3], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![3], and ... FFS![3], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[3], and you should know how it works by now ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[3], and here, obviously / not ... over there[3], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[3], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[3], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[3], and my patience is wearing thin, man[3], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[3], and, so ... never mind[3], and you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and Jesus H. - !!![3], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[3], and speak, freak![3], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[3], and ... or begins (again)[3], and

And it's all the same to me, actually[1], and ... ha![1], and it's all the same to me, actually[2], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and ... ha![2], and ... big time[1], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[1], and ... big time[2], and I want it, wild![1], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[2], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[1], and I want it, wild![2], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![1], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[2], and ... FFS![1], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![2], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[1], and ... FFS![2], and you should know how it works by now ...[1], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[1], and you should know how it works by now ...[2], and here, obviously / not ... over there[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[2], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[1], and here, obviously / not ... over there[2], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[1], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[2], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[1], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[2], and my patience is wearing thin, man[1], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[2], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[1], and my patience is wearing thin, man[2], and, so ... never mind[1], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[2], and you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and, so ... never mind[2], and Jesus H. - !!![1], and you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[1], and Jesus H. - !!![2], and speak, freak![1], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[2], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[1], and speak, freak![2], and ... or begins (again)[1], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[2], and it's all the same to me, actually[3], and ... or begins (again)[2], and ... ha![3], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and ... big time[3], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[3], and I want it, wild![3], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[3], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![3], and ... FFS![3], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[3], and you should know how it works by now ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[3], and here, obviously / not ... over there[3], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[3], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[3], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[3], and my patience is wearing thin, man[3], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[3], and, so ... never mind[3], and you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and Jesus H. - !!![3], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[3], and speak, freak![3], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[3], and ... or begins (again)[3], and

And it's all the same to me, actually[1], and ... ha![1], and it's all the same to me, actually[2], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and ... ha![2], and ... big time[1], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[1], and ... big time[2], and I want it, wild![1], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[2], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[1], and I want it, wild![2], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![1], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[2], and ... FFS![1], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![2], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[1], and ... FFS![2], and you should know how it works by now ...[1], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[1], and you should know how it works by now ...[2], and here, obviously / not ... over there[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[2], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[1], and here, obviously / not ... over there[2], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[1], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[2], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[1], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[2], and my patience is wearing thin, man[1], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[2], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[1], and my patience is wearing thin, man[2], and, so ... never mind[1], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[2], and you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and, so ... never mind[2], and Jesus H. - !!![1], and you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[1], and Jesus H. - !!![2], and speak, freak![1], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[2], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[1], and speak, freak![2], and ... or begins (again)[1], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[2], and it's all the same to me, actually[3], and ... or begins (again)[2], and ... ha![3], and I don't know if I'm coming or going, but ... I know I'm getting a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and ... big time[3], and that's all I need, yes, the DIZZY(!) life[3], and I want it, wild![3], and what do YOU(!), er, want? / ... and, oh, oh, a lovely story to soothe you? Uh[3], and do me a massive favour, son/daughter![3], and ... FFS![3], and don't be a SQUARE / and be a KOOK[3], and you should know how it works by now ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and what's not to like?[3], and here, obviously / not ... over there[3], and it's tried and tested, believe it or not / and it's so simple / and why don't you tell a friend?[3], and ... or a complete stranger in a strange land[3], and this is my personal guarantee: if you're not happy after a trillion spins, you can fuck right off[3], and my patience is wearing thin, man[3], and if you were with me right at the BEGINNINGS, 2012, uh, you were with me right at the ENDS, too[3], and, so ... never mind[3], and you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and Jesus H. - !!![3], and, come on! ... what do YOU(!) ... really want? / and if wishes were horses ...[3], and speak, freak![3], and ... 'Me? Er, in the ENDS the love you make -' Shut it! / ... and this is the way literature ENDS[3], and ... or begins (again)[3], and

Cazana founder has got secrets

And he's going to share them with people in America. 'Ha! They won't be secrets for long, boss.' Why not, Voice? 'Those Americans will tell everyone.' Yeah, maybe.

British business is set to impress when six, fast-growth UK companies head to San Francisco as part of a programme to promote UK big data and insurtech capability to American investors. Cazana, the largest car search and indexing engine for used car sales in the UK, is one of the businesses attending the high-profile event with founder and CEO, Tom Wood, scheduled to meet with corporate investors and venture capital funds.

Oh, Christ! 'What?' No, there's nothing wrong, really. I just - 'You didn't want technology again, did you?' I asked for rainbows, man. I asked for decent human feelings, and rainbows. And they give me ... technology. 'But you don't even like rainbows, Mikey!' Listen, son, I can hardly ask them for conceptual shit, can I? They probably don't even know what that is. So I ask these PR people for rainbows, and decent human feelings ... and I get technology again! / Never mind. Let's do this -

The mission, which takes place from 26th to 28th September 2017, will feature significant pitching and networking opportunities to generate further interest from US investors in the sector-leading work which is taking place in the UK. As a current recipient of US financial backing, Cazana is well-placed to show how businesses operating across the Atlantic can benefit from a collaborative approach to technology investment.

Technology investment. You see, dear reader(s)? That's all they know. / I suppose I better let Tom Wood say a word or two ...

Cazana's CEO, Tom Wood, commented: "It is a privilege to be chosen as one of just a handful of companies to represent the UK in this important trade mission. We're looking forward to showing how Cazana's big data and machine learning can help US insurers and companies working with vehicles to reduce their risk by better understanding the history of those vehicles. Cazana's global vehicle database has been proven to reduce the risk of insurance fraud in the UK market, and we're excited to show US insurers how this data can help them write motor insurance more cost effectively."

Okay, okay. I don't know what the big secrets are, but ... the Americans will find out. 'It's the big data thing, boss.' Whatever.

Following on from the mission to San Francisco, Cazana's founder and CEO, Tom Wood, will demonstrate Cazana's technology at the world's largest insurtech event, InsureTech Connect, which takes place in Las Vegas on 3rd and 4th October 2017. Wood will demonstrate how Cazana's big data helps motor insurers to reduce fraud and improve their loss ratio by understanding the condition and history of the vehicles they cover.

Oh, right. Then he's going to Las Vegas. Not to have a good time, like, but just for business. 'Ha!' Sure. We believe that, don't we, dear reader(s)? I wasn't born yesterday, Tom. FFS!

Well, enjoy yourself, yeah?

ENDS

Yes, ENDS. / And, well ... it's nearly the ends of the week. I've got one more post to do later, a conceptual, No. 547. Laters.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

The Q-Bot robots are taking over!

Run! Run! [If you're in the insulation business.] Run! 'What's all this, boss?' Run, Voice! Save yourself! The insulation robots are coming! 'But I'm not in the insulation business.' Oh ... okay. Never mind. Panic over, everyone.

London, United Kingdom - Q-Bot, the UK's leading developer of robots for use in the construction industry, has closed an investment round of £450,000 supported by ClearlySo, Minerva Investors Group, Curious Capital, London Business Angels and Chicago Booth Angels. The investment is leveraged with £1,050,000 funding from the EU Commission's Horizon 2020 program, to bring the total funding up to £1.5m. The new funds will allow Q-Bot to rollout the world's first affordable and truly scalable solution for under floor insulation.

You see, dear reader(s)? There's probably nothing to worry about. Oh, do you work in the insulation business? No? Then why are you crying? Get a grip, FFS! 'These people ...' / Let's see what our Hayley at ClearlySo has got to say ...

Hayley Collen, Investment Director at ClearlySo: "This is an exciting time for Q-Bot as it looks to scale up in the UK and launch in new markets. ClearlySo is proud to have helped them raise capital at each step of their journey to improve energy efficiency and reduce fuel poverty for customers in the UK and beyond."

Oh, I see. She's not worried about the poor bastards who work in the insulation business. 'Maybe one day, boss, the robots will come for her job.' Ha! They're coming for everyone's job, son. However, they can't write songs for shit at the moment, and I doubt they ever will be able to. So I'll be okay. / Anyway ...

With an estimated 10 million homes needing under floor insulation in the UK alone and with markets in Northern Europe and the US, there is a huge need to develop more scalable approaches for the retrofit of insulation. Q-Bot has developed a highly innovative, robotic device that can deploy through a small opening, survey and map the space, apply insulation in situ and then validate the job done. This unique approach transforms inefficient, cold and draughty properties into warm and cosy homes at a fraction of the cost and time of traditional methods. It also minimizes disruption for the occupants and can reduce energy bills by as much as 1/4, saving hundreds of pounds. This has resulted in Q-Bot acquiring significant clients in the social housing sector, including Camden Council, Cardiff City Council, CityWest Homes, Islington Council and Peabody.

Okay, okay. It sounds amazing and everything, I suppose. 'As long as they don't start blowing people away with a shotgun, boss.' Who?! 'The robots.' And why on earth would they do that? 'I don't know.' They're not going to have many customers left if they do that, are they, idiot?! 'But you see it in the movies.' Christ! Forget the movies! FFS! / Okay, let's finish with a quote from Mathew ...

Mathew Holloway, CEO & Co-Founder of Q-Bot: "The support of our investors combined with co-funding from the EU Commission’s H2020 program, has enabled Q-Bot to secure the accreditation critical to our customers and partners including a BBA Agrement Certificate and CE Mark. Q-Bot is now poised to roll out the service across the UK and capitalize on successful trials in France and the US. This new investment will allow Q-Bot to accelerate growth and put in place the infrastructure required to deliver the service across the millions of homes that need it. Q-Bot has already created dozens of jobs and insulated hundreds of homes, but our goal is to have an impact on a global scale, by transforming the construction industry with smarter solutions."

Created dozens of jobs? Well, well ... okay. I mean, I don't know, but ... 'Don't worry about it, Mikey. Just play your guitar.' Yeah, well, I'll be finishing a great lyric today. / It's your move, robots.

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Longford Capital gets $500 million for its second fund!

Well, that's not too bad, $500 million. 'How much did they want, boss?' Er ... $500 million. 'Oh, so you're telling me and the readers that they wanted $500 million, so they went out and raised the money, and then ended up with $500 million?' That's exactly what I'm telling you, Voice. 'But what about all these stories we cover where a firm wants, I don't know, say $600 million, and then they get $850 million, and everyone is over the moon because they got more than they wanted? What about those stories, boss?' This isn't one of those stories, man. 'Oh.' They wanted to raise $500 million, and they got it. What's your problem?

Okay, okay. This Longford Capital is based in Chicago and it invests in commercial litigation. The new fund is called, rather imaginatively, Longford Capital Fund II. And this is from their website -

Longford Capital is a private investment company that invests in commercial litigation believed to be high value and meritorious. We provide capital to (i) companies to pay attorneys' fees and expenses incurred in litigation and (ii) invest in portfolios of cases managed by leading law firms. If the litigation is successful, Longford Capital is paid back its investment plus an agreed upon return. If the litigation is unsuccessful, the client owes us nothing.

We manage a diversified portfolio of legal claims, and consider investments in business-to-business contract claims and other commercial claims, antitrust and trade regulation claims, intellectual property claims (including patent, trademark, copyright and trade secret), fiduciary duty claims, fraud claims, domestic and international arbitration, claims in bankruptcy and liquidation and a variety of others.


You see, dear reader(s)? And now they've got $500 million to play with. 'It could have been so much more.' Will you give it a rest, Voice?! 'Well, is there something wrong with $700 million?' Christ! There's nothing wrong with $700 million, but they don't need that much. Just let them run their business the way they want to. It's got nothing to do with you, you little idiot!

I must apologize to anyone here from Longford Capital. He's my intern on this blog. But I can't really get the staff. And he's just a disembodied voice, anyway, from the astral plane, like. 'Ha!' What? 'You make it sound like it's a bad thing.' Just shut up! Please.

...

Anything else? Well ... the national debt? Why has it doubled in seven years? I'm just wondering ... / I don't want to go too far into the subject, dear reader(s), because it's bloody boring. 'Go on then.' Well, that's it. 'Oh, okay.' I'm just wondering why it has doubled in the last seven years, that's all. And where has the money gone? It's not as if we've seen any improvements in society. Actually, things have been getting worse.

Never mind. / Music? This is my last music update. Seriously. There's no need to discuss it any more. I'm hoping to finish my tenth song this week, which would give me an album of forty and a half minutes. (It would be nice to have an eleventh song though.) / The two weakest songs on that album would be It's Just a Joke, Man and She Loves Me from the last demo. And they're not too weak compared to a lot that gets written these days, so I'm happy. 'Yippee!' Yeah. Yippee!

Laters.

Monday, 18 September 2017

[No. 546] You can be a tour de force in your own life

Yes, YOU(!), and YOURS(!). See module four.

And it's a ride - !!![1], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[1], and it's a ride - !!![2], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[1], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[2], and see the line![1], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[2], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[1], and see the line![2], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![1], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[2], and what do we want?[1], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![2], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[1], and what do we want?[2], and, thanks, Jordan![1], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[2], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![1], and, thanks, Jordan![2], and get off the sofa![1], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[1], and get off the sofa![2], and it's so simple![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[2], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[1], and it's so simple![2], and ... BELIEVE - !!![1], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[2], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![1], and ... BELIEVE - !!![2], and don't say a word![1], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![2], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![1], and don't say a word![2], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![1], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![2], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[1], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![2], and what are you doing?[1], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[2], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![1], and what are you doing?[2], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![1], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![2], and it's a ride - !!![3], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![2], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[3], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[3], and see the line![3], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[3], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![3], and what do we want?[3], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[3], and, thanks, Jordan![3], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![3], and get off the sofa![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[3], and it's so simple![3], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[3], and ... BELIEVE - !!![3], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![3], and don't say a word![3], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![3], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![3], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[3], and what are you doing?[3], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![3], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![3], and

And it's a ride - !!![1], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[1], and it's a ride - !!![2], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[1], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[2], and see the line![1], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[2], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[1], and see the line![2], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![1], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[2], and what do we want?[1], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![2], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[1], and what do we want?[2], and, thanks, Jordan![1], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[2], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![1], and, thanks, Jordan![2], and get off the sofa![1], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[1], and get off the sofa![2], and it's so simple![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[2], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[1], and it's so simple![2], and ... BELIEVE - !!![1], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[2], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![1], and ... BELIEVE - !!![2], and don't say a word![1], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![2], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![1], and don't say a word![2], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![1], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![2], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[1], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![2], and what are you doing?[1], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[2], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![1], and what are you doing?[2], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![1], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![2], and it's a ride - !!![3], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![2], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[3], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[3], and see the line![3], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[3], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![3], and what do we want?[3], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[3], and, thanks, Jordan![3], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![3], and get off the sofa![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[3], and it's so simple![3], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[3], and ... BELIEVE - !!![3], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![3], and don't say a word![3], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![3], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![3], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[3], and what are you doing?[3], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![3], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![3], and

And it's a ride - !!![1], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[1], and it's a ride - !!![2], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[1], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[2], and see the line![1], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[2], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[1], and see the line![2], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![1], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[2], and what do we want?[1], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![2], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[1], and what do we want?[2], and, thanks, Jordan![1], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[2], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![1], and, thanks, Jordan![2], and get off the sofa![1], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[1], and get off the sofa![2], and it's so simple![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[2], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[1], and it's so simple![2], and ... BELIEVE - !!![1], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[2], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![1], and ... BELIEVE - !!![2], and don't say a word![1], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![2], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![1], and don't say a word![2], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![1], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![2], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[1], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![2], and what are you doing?[1], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[2], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![1], and what are you doing?[2], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![1], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![2], and it's a ride - !!![3], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![2], and it's THE RIDE of your life, man / and why the fuck are you stuffing your face with Jaffa Cakes?[3], and they're smaller now, anyway, because of Brexit ...[3], and see the line![3], and ... you need to up your game, seriously / and think of Aristotle Onassis, yeah?[3], and think of, uh ... Richard Branson?! 'Ha!' / and, ha!, obviously not, Christ ... Oh, no, no, no![3], and what do we want?[3], and words of wisdom, given with a Long Island accent ...[3], and, thanks, Jordan![3], and it's YOUR LIFE, you know ... / ... and why aren't you taking control of your own freakin' life?! - ?![3], and get off the sofa![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... and your mind can float around, you dig?[3], and it's so simple![3], and it's all in your mind - the answers you need, the results you need, and the life you want[3], and ... BELIEVE - !!![3], and I know you got problems, son/daughter ... / ... and, yeah, yeah, tell me who hasn't![3], and don't say a word![3], and you should, should, should ... ? / and give, give, give ... me a fucking break![3], and spin free ... / and, yes, spin free![3], and what you did before, what you were, just don't matter / and what you are NOW - ?[3], and what are you doing?[3], and look at me, spinning easy, not a care in the COLD WORLD / and a spiritual aristocrat, too![3], and, well ... beyond the THREE ... you dig? / and feel on![3], and

Jim Moran ...

Well, well ... / Venture capital guy. Yeah. Jim Moran. He's going to be the executive chairman. Or so our Susie reckons. And she says I can speak to him, if I want to. Well, I don't want to - nothing personal - but I'm writing this post, anyway, ain't I? 'What's all this, boss? I mean, on a sunny Monday morning in summer, like.' Ha! It's winter, Voice. Get used to it! / Right, this -

Perfecto, the leading continuous testing and monitoring platform for optimizing DevOps pipelines, today announced the appointment of Jim Moran as executive chairman of its board of directors. In this newly created, full-time role, Moran will focus on helping the company accelerate its profitable growth in the DevOps and application development and QA markets, and work closely with the Perfecto board and executive team to extend the company's market leadership and navigate its strategic growth options.

Christ! It's technology again. / Hey, PR people, haven't you got any human stuff you can send me? You know, about people with sensitive feelings who are staring at a fucking rainbow or something? Not that I've got much time for rainbows, but I'm just saying, man. 'Ha! Give it up, boss. It's the way the world is going now.' Oh. Well, stop the world, son. I want to get off! / A bit more on Jimmy -

Moran brings a wealth of experience with technology startups across a variety of markets including enterprise SaaS and cloud, open source, payments, mobile commerce, and communications & infrastructure. Most recently, he was managing director at North Bridge Venture & Growth Equity Partners investing in and advising both early-stage and growth-oriented companies including mobile wallet provider Paydiant (acquired by PayPal), and endpoint security solution Confer Technologies (acquired by Carbon Black).

As long as he's happy, I suppose. You can't change people. God knows I've tried ... / Okay. Uh, Liron Gitig said something. 'Did he?' Yes. 'Who is he?' I don't know.

"The race to deliver a best-in-class digital experience has never been more fierce," said Liron Gitig, Perfecto board member and partner at investor FTV Capital. "Perfecto's acceleration of cycle time and faster delivery of digital services make its solutions mission-critical for software development organizations. Jim's expertise and leadership make him the right executive to help us capitalize on this massive market opportunity."

Oh, okay. He's, uh ... a partner at FTV Capital. 'What about Eran Yaniv, boss?' Who?! 'Eran Yaniv.' Oh, you mean ... the chief executive of Perfecto, him?

"Jim brings tremendous strategic insight and operational experience to Perfecto at a time when we are seeing strong, profitable growth in a market with unlimited opportunity," said Eran Yaniv, CEO of Perfecto. "He knows what it takes to disrupt and scale to win in big markets and is adept at developing winning go-to-market strategies to do that. His track record is exceptional and I am looking forward to working with him to maximize the tremendous potential we have here."

Well, that's all really nice and everything, but - 'We haven't heard from the great man himself!' Well, hang on, Voice -

"Perfecto has an enormous opportunity ahead and is extremely well positioned to CAPITALIZE now," said Moran. "As enterprises execute on their digital strategies, their software development and QA organizations must accelerate their level of innovation and time-to-market to engage with their users in new ways using web, mobile and IoT. Perfecto is in a market-leading position to support these efforts by optimizing their software delivery pipelines and assuring flawless digital user experiences."

Okay, okay. Thanks, Jimmy. [I just wonder where they get all their enthusiasm from, dear reader(s)]. / Right ... 'Ends?' No, just this -

---/---

You see? 'Er ... well, what's that?' Ask Susie. It's her way of doing the Ends thing, obviously. 'Yeah?' Jesus! I don't know how these people's minds work. Ask Susie!

...

Anything else? Music? This is my last music update. There will be two ballads and two "pop" songs on my new demo. 'What happened to the third ballad, Mikey?' It's too much, all three together, Voice.

What else? I'll be doing a conceptual later, No. 546. Laters.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

[No. 545] Going, going ...

But still here. [Right. A warning. This conceptual is a bit messed up. A couple of phrases in the wrong place, and I have no idea how to fix it. So ... the thing is, I think it's only the second one out of 545 that I've got wrong. Not a bad record, really. I must have lost my concentration or something. I just don't know what happened. I could fix it, but I don't have the time or energy. Also, maybe it's a good thing, you dig? I'm sure Duchamp would approve. I think this sort of thing happened to him occasionally, and he just lived with it. Also, a lot of my early ones were a mess on purpose. Well, not on purpose. I just wasn't sure what I was doing. It really doesn't matter.]

And, yes ... ![1], and, yes ... never mind[1], and, yes ... ![2], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[1], and, yes ... never mind[2], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[1], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[2], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[1], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[2], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[1], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[2], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[1], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[2], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[1], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[2], and come on, come on, come on![1], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[2], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[1], and come on, come on, come on![2], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![1], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[2], and we keep believing because we have to[1], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![2], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[1], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[2], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[1], and we keep believing because we have to[2], and damn straight![1], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[2], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[1], and damn straight![2], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[1], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[2], and ... good![1], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[2], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[1], and ... good![2], and, or ... the worst of it[1], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[2], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[1], and, or ... the worst of it[2], and bloody hell![1], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[2], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[1], and bloody hell![2], and never mind, eh?[1], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[2], and, yes ... ![3], and never mind, eh?[2], and, yes ... never mind[3], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[3], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[3], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[3], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[3], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[3], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[3], and come on, come on, come on![3], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[3], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![3], and we keep believing because we have to[3], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[3], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[3], and damn straight![3], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[3], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[3], and ... good![3], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[3], and, or ... the worst of it[3], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[3], and bloody hell![3], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[3], and never mind, eh?[3], and

And, yes ... ![1], and, yes ... never mind[1], and, yes ... ![2], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[1], and, yes ... never mind[2], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[1], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[2], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[1], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[2], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[1], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[2], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[1], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[2], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[1], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[2], and come on, come on, come on![1], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[2], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[1], and come on, come on, come on![2], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![1], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[2], and we keep believing because we have to[1], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![2], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[1], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[2], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[1], and we keep believing because we have to[2], and damn straight![1], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[2], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[1], and damn straight![2], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[1], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[2], and ... good![1], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[2], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[1], and ... good![2], and, or ... the worst of it[1], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[2], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[1], and, or ... the worst of it[2], and bloody hell![1], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[2], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[1], and bloody hell![2], and never mind, eh?[1], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[2], and, yes ... ![3], and never mind, eh?[2], and, yes ... never mind[3], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[3], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[3], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[3], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[3], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[3], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[3], and come on, come on, come on![3], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[3], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![3], and we keep believing because we have to[3], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[3], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[3], and damn straight![3], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[3], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[3], and ... good![3], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[3], and, or ... the worst of it[3], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[3], and bloody hell![3], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[3], and never mind, eh?[3], and

And, yes ... ![1], and, yes ... never mind[1], and, yes ... ![2], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[1], and, yes ... never mind[2], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[1], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[2], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[1], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[2], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[1], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[2], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[1], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[2], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[1], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[2], and come on, come on, come on![1], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[2], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[1], and come on, come on, come on![2], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![1], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[2], and we keep believing because we have to[1], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![2], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[1], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[2], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[1], and we keep believing because we have to[2], and damn straight![1], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[2], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[1], and damn straight![2], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[1], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[2], and ... good![1], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[2], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[1], and ... good![2], and, or ... the worst of it[1], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[2], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[1], and, or ... the worst of it[2], and bloody hell![1], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[2], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[1], and bloody hell![2], and never mind, eh?[1], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[2], and, yes ... ![3], and never mind, eh?[2], and, yes ... never mind[3], and, yes ... here we are! / and, uh ... 'For fuck's sake, where's the entertainment, Mikey?'[3], and Christ! You can't get the voices these days[3], and YOU(!), Voice, have to make your own entertainment a-ROUND here[3], and I'm at the end of my tether ...[3], and YOU(!), too, random spinner(s)[3], and sometimes I wonder why I bother / and then I remember: there's a great reward beyond the THREE, supposedly[3], and come on, come on, come on![3], and I don't know who told me, and maybe I told myself, and maybe it's a load of shite, and who knows?[3], and, oh, keep on ... spinning, kook(s)![3], and we keep believing because we have to[3], and if you don't believe, you're WORTHLESS, like all the others, outside ... please, no, no, no[3], and our consciousness ness with the cosmos, right?[3], and damn straight![3], and squares love the rainbows / and it's all they know / and what can you do with such people?[3], and I feel that something must change / and we all know that nothing will change[3], and ... good![3], and ... fuck it, man! / ... and we're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck / and, uh, make the best of it[3], and, or ... the worst of it[3], and we're going, yes, and we're going, yes, and, uh, well ... we're almost back to where we were[3], and bloody hell![3], and I just have to ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, no, couldn't leave it out[3], and never mind, eh?[3], and

Pumpen Wangen

Okay, okay. I wasn't going to do this because ... it's another Silverfleet Capital PR email, ain't it? (I can't keep doing them, man.) However, I couldn't resist this one, dear reader(s). I mean, well, it sounds ... fascinating, don't it? 'Pumpen Wangen, boss? What the hell is that?!' I wouldn't like to say, Voice. 'Why not?' It's awkward. 'Why is it?' It's just ... sensitive. 'What? Why is it?' Uh. Listen, reader(s), maybe I shouldn't have started this post. This is a family blog, after all. Maybe there's something else I can write about. Something not so sordid, you dig? 'What?! Boss, look -'

Silverfleet Capital, the Pan-European private equity firm that specializes in buy-to-build, has entered into a binding contract to acquire Pumpenfabrik Wangen GmbH ("Wangen" or the "Company"), a leading designer and manufacturer of high quality progressing cavity and twin-screw pumps. Silverfleet will acquire a majority stake from the Company's individual private shareholders. Completion is subject to regulatory approval and the terms of the transaction were not disclosed.

Oh, okay. Okay. That's all right. Ha! It's quite a relief, actually. 'What was the problem, boss?' I just thought ... 'What did you think?' It doesn't matter, Voice. It really doesn't. And I'm really happy we've cleared up the confusion. Let's get on with it -

Founded in 1969 and based in Wangen, Germany, the Company is a market leader in the manufacture of screw pumps that are suitable for highly viscous or abrasive substances as well as solid-fluid composites. Wangen offers a broad range of standard as well as customized pumps designed and manufactured in-house for specific uses.

Wangen has an international distribution network, supplying clients including the Royal Navy (pumps for frigates), Schwarzkopf (hair care products) and the Wirtgen Group (road construction, a division of John Deere). The Company currently manufactures products for four key end markets, namely: (i) biogas; (ii) food & beverage; (iii) agriculture; and (iv) wastewater treatment and employs approximately 200 people. In 2017, Wangen expects to generate revenues of €37 million.


Great! I'm so happy! It's all perfectly above board. 'Of course it is.' Yes. Yes. It is. Okay. Okay. Yes. / Right. Let's have a couple of quotes. First up, our Klaus -

Klaus Maurer, Partner at Silverfleet Capital said: "Wangen is a clear market leader with a strong product base and R&D focus, operating in an attractive market. We are excited by the prospect of working closely with the management team and using our experience in the sector to help grow the Company internationally and enable Wangen to achieve its full potential."

Nice one, Klaus! / Now we've got some guy called Bernd. Here he is -

Bernd St├╝tz, incoming Chairman of Wangen added: "Wangen has a leading reputation as a designer and manufacturer of state of the art products. Having worked in the pump industry for the majority of my career, I am looking forward to helping lead this high quality business through its new phase of ownership. I am convinced that with Silverfleet Capital's support and experience of building international market leading manufacturing businesses, we can successfully develop the Company further."

Fair enough, Bernd. Thanks for that. You've put my mind at rest. / Anyway ...

- Ends -

Yes, it's the ends of another exciting week. I'll be doing one more post later, another conceptual. What number is it now? 'No. 545, boss.' Yes, No. 545.

Laters.

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Coutts on China

Yeah, I've got a PR email from Coutts. 'Who?!' From Coutts, Voice. Open your ears! 'I ain't got no ears, boss. I'm just a disembodied voice from the astral plane. You know that, so deal with it.' Okay, okay. Enough of you.

Let's hear from Alistair Jex, head of bespoke portfolio management at Coutts ...

The upcoming 19th National Congress of the Communist Party of China has important implications for the global economy.

China might be a one-party political system but behind the scenes various factions work to usher in supporters and kick out rivals. Twice a decade these power struggles play out when senior politicians hold a National Congress to approve the line-up that will govern the country for the following five years. The next gathering is scheduled to start this autumn.


Okay, okay. Does this have anything to do with finance? 'Give him a chance, boss.' I've given him a chance, man, but he's just wittering on about the communist party. 'Give him another chance.' All right. Come on, Alistair, my son. You need to up your game.

There is little doubt that Xi Jinping will continue for a second five-year term as General Secretary. Mr Xi has spent his first term consolidating his grip on power, largely through an anti-corruption campaign to rid himself of opponents. Yet who gets promoted to other senior positions could affect the country's policies and goals for economic development.

For crying out loud! 'Boss -'

What happens in China is important for the world economy because it is one of the main engines of global growth. After achieving double-digit rates of expansion for more than three decades, the rate of growth in China's economy began to slow in 2010, falling to 6.7% by 2016.

This fall coincided with a flight to safety in investment. Investors feared a global recession led by China but at the time we felt that this was unlikely and maintained our exposure to risk assets. While performance in our portfolios suffered in the short term, 2016 as a whole turned out to be a boom year for equities and our investment performance over the year ended up being top quartile across nearly all of our mandates.


Well, that's a bit better, I suppose. 'It's a lot better! You're a hard man, boss.' I know, Voice, but I judge people on their results. / Okay, okay. It's just blah, blah, blah, uh, at the moment. I think we can skip to the positive outlook -

A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

Coutts currently has a neutral exposure to China relative to our long-term investment strategy, as part of our allocation to emerging markets as well as a country-specific fund that is likely to benefit from rising domestic consumption. We see the prospects for China as broadly positive in the future and see no reason to change this view at this stage.

Regardless of the outcome of the upcoming political reshuffle, we believe China's long-term economic policies will remain largely unchanged. Its leaders are likely to continue to tackle the problems of excess debt by reining in leverage and slowing broad credit expansion.

Despite the difficult economic, social and political challenges ahead, Coutts remains positive on China's growth outlook as well as the investment environment. Investment opportunities include multinational companies with substantial revenues from China, Chinese companies listed on developed market stock exchanges and professionally managed funds that invest directly in Chinese companies.


Right. Well, we got there in the end. Thanks, Alistair! / Obviously, I don't endorse any of this, dear reader(s). If you want to invest in China, that's your business, but don't get me involved. I'm just playing my guitar and writing songs these days. That's all I know.

...

Anything else? Music? My music? Well, I probably will put those three ballads on the demo, with one "pop" song. This is the last music update, by the way. 'Ha!' It is!

It's nice and sunny today. I might go out later. Laters, blog and pop fan(s)!

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Vortus Investments has raised $500 million!

And they only wanted $450 million. So it's something to celebrate, ain't it, dear reader(s)? 'They could have gone for $600 million, boss.' Yes, they could have, Voice, but they didn't. Remember, not everyone is as ambitious as we are. Anyway, half a billion dollars is very nice. 'I wonder what they'll spend it all on.' Er ... I think they're going to invest it, man. 'Yeah?' Yes, oil and gas in America. They're not going to blow it on nonsense. Wild parties and stuff.

A bit about the firm -

Vortus Investments is a Fort Worth-based private equity firm focused on generating long-term capital gains through investments in the lower to middle market upstream energy industry in North America. Formed in 2013 by Jeffrey W. Miller and Brian C. Crumley, Vortus' philosophy focuses on a disciplined approach to investing with an emphasis on repeatability. The Investment Team's collective 60+ years of global energy experience covers a wide range of disciplines, including: private equity, investment banking, M&A, capital markets, public equity and debt investing, asset management, and restructuring, and is supported by a foundation of petroleum engineering. Through Vortus' complementary technical, operational and financial experience in energy investments and operations, the team has developed a broad network of integral industry relationships to source potential investments.

Repeatability! They'll probably love my numbered conceptual posts because I get a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and - 'You never stop, boss.' Son, I don't want to stop. I'm having the time of my life. Why would I want to stop writing them? 'It would be insanity to stop.' Of course it would!

Anyway, I wish them all the best at Vortus.

...

Right. Anything else? Brexit? Christ! Brexit just gets worse, man. 'Those Leavers!' I don't actually discuss Brexit no more - I'm sick of it - but ... it just gets worse. Why would half the country decide to top itself like a Jonestown massacre? It makes absolutely no sense. I'm just ...

I'm just glad I've got my music, frankly. It's an escape from a world of shit. 'And your conceptual stuff, Mikey!' Yes, yes, yes. And that. Well, well ... well!

Ha!

Laters.