Monday, 11 December 2017

I'm in a Christmas mood, to tell you the truth

Just random thoughts ...

Yeah, yeah, so, uh ... no finance today, dear reader(s), if you don't mind. I doubt there's much news anyway. 'There's only two weeks to go, boss, until your Christmas break.' Thank you, Voice. Yes, but I wish it were now, because I'm knackered. I need a rest. 'You do too much. All this blogging, and then playing the guitar and writing songs. And those conceptuals don't help. I'm convinced they're doing your head in, you know.' I enjoy them, man. 'Are you writing one today?' Yeah. No. 570. After lunch, and into the evening. 'Well, you certainly like to get a-ROUND, don't you?' I certainly do!

Right. I'm listening to Consider Yourself from Oliver! on repeat. I love this song!

Oh, I finished my eleventh song yesterday, reader(s). [Not eleventh song ever, silly(s)! I mean eleventh decent song that I'm saving. 'For posterity, like.' Whatever.] I reckon it might be my best song. 'Will it be on the demo?' Maybe, Voice. But it means I've got three songs to record now, and before Christmas, hopefully. I remember I ruined the 2012 Christmas holiday by trying to record My Heart, a song that has now been scrapped. 'And what happened to Gilly, Gilly, boss?' Ha! Scrapped, too. 'Gillian Tett won't like that!' Tough! I've got to be ruthless when it comes to my art, man.

Right. What else? 'Brexit?' Fuck off! Seriously. It looked like we were getting a super-soft Brexit last week, but now it's all up in the air again. I just don't want to think about it no more. END.

Okay, okay. That Lionel Bart was a character. Apparently, in the Sixties he had a big urn inside his front door full of fifty and twenty pound notes, and guests could just help themselves. 'Ha! No wonder he ended his days living above a chip shop in Acton.' Yes, but ... he still had a couple of million stashed away, by all accounts. I think that was down to Cameron Mackintosh giving him a small percentage on the revival of Oliver! ... when he didn't need to, because Bart had sold the rights to the musical, amazingly.

What's Bitcoin doing at the moment? 'That's finance, Mikey!' Yes, I know, but I'm just wondering ...

Right. Okay. Laters, yeah?

Thursday, 7 December 2017

Coutts yet again

But I don't mind. 'Live and let live, boss!' Yeah, maybe. / They've got something to say about Bitcoin. 'What about Mikeycoin?' Er, nothing about that, Voice. 'Oh.' I don't think they're in the loop with recent developments. It doesn't matter. / Anyway ...

Is Bitcoin part of a tech bubble?

Bitcoin was all over the place this week - and not just in the media. It reached an all-time high by breaking through the $11,000 mark but then fell by 20%. Its sharp rise brought back memories of the dotcom bubble back at the turn of the century, and Bank of England deputy governor Sir Jon Cunliffe has said investors should "do their homework" if considering it.

Our view at Coutts is that, as an investment asset, electronic currencies like Bitcoin have nothing but sentiment backing them up, are vulnerable to government sanctions and lack the kind of data we look for to gauge value. We therefore have no current plans to include them in our investment strategy.

In our view the development of blockchain technology, which sits behind so-called 'cryptocurrencies' like Bitcoin, is a far more interesting area to watch. This new technology has the potential to disrupt any field where there's the need for secure, transferable records.


Okay, okay. [$11,000? It's higher now.] There's a bit more of these Coutts on Bitcoin, but ... I tell you what, dear reader(s). 'What, boss? Tell me!' Well, what about that treasure in the rubbish tip? 'Eh?' Real treasure I'm talking about. 'Yeah?' Yeah. Big time. Listen. Some guy, years ago, bought £7,500 worth of Bitcoin, and then he threw his laptop away, containing the treasure, right? 'What fucking treasure?!' Christ! The Bitcoins, man! Because they are treasure now. They're worth £75 million and they're in some rubbish tip somewhere, but this guy's local council won't let him go through all the rubbish to find the laptop. 'Ha!' It's a sad story, Voice, reader(s). But if it were my laptop and my bitcoins ... 'What?' Well, just imagine. I wouldn't be crying in my beer every night. Let's put it that way.

Okay, okay. There's, uh ... some ECB stuff. I ain't interested in that. 'What about oil production, boss?' Yeah, all right.

Oil production to stay slow next year

The Opec group of energy producers met in Vienna and agreed to extend its oil production cuts until the end of next year to further bolster prices.

Since production cuts began in January, the price of a barrel of Brent crude oil has risen from about $50 last year to more than $60 today. Market reaction was muted as the decision to extend production cuts was widely anticipated.

At Coutts we are broadly neutral on oil and still see oversupply as an issue - although demand has been strong because of synchronized growth across major economies.


And that's it, blog fans! No endorsements or recommendations, of course. 'Thanks, Coutts!' Yes, thank you, Coutts.

...

Anything else? Well, it's the end of the week. 'Brilliant!' Oh, just one more thing, other news, like: The Conservatives are now blaming disabled people for low productivity in the economy, which is what you would expect from conservatives, seeing as they're such lovely people and everything. 'So it's not news really.' No.

Have a nice weekend, alligator(s)! 'Laters!' Bye.

Wednesday, 6 December 2017

[No. 569] Black hole

Beyond the THREE. It could be.

And I'm really not bothered[1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[1], and I'm really not bothered[2], and I don't care, so there![1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[2], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[1], and I don't care, so there![2], and who gives a shit?![1], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[2], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[1], and who gives a shit?![2], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[1], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[2], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[1], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[2], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[1], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[1], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![1], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[2], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![2], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[1], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![2], and ... silence? YES![1], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[2], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[1], and ... silence? YES![2], and you look tired, actually[1], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[2], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[1], and you look tired, actually[2], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[1], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[2], and I've got enough for all of us[1], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[2], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and I've got enough for all of us[2], and we're not ready yet, so ...[1], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and hello, goodbye, hello![1], and we're not ready yet, so ...[2], and I'm really not bothered[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![2], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[3], and I don't care, so there![3], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[3], and who gives a shit?![3], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[3], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[3], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[3], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[3], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![3], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![3], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[3], and ... silence? YES![3], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[3], and you look tired, actually[3], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[3], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[3], and I've got enough for all of us[3], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and we're not ready yet, so ...[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![3], and

And I'm really not bothered[1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[1], and I'm really not bothered[2], and I don't care, so there![1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[2], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[1], and I don't care, so there![2], and who gives a shit?![1], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[2], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[1], and who gives a shit?![2], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[1], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[2], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[1], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[2], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[1], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[1], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![1], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[2], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![2], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[1], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![2], and ... silence? YES![1], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[2], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[1], and ... silence? YES![2], and you look tired, actually[1], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[2], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[1], and you look tired, actually[2], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[1], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[2], and I've got enough for all of us[1], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[2], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and I've got enough for all of us[2], and we're not ready yet, so ...[1], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and hello, goodbye, hello![1], and we're not ready yet, so ...[2], and I'm really not bothered[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![2], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[3], and I don't care, so there![3], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[3], and who gives a shit?![3], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[3], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[3], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[3], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[3], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![3], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![3], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[3], and ... silence? YES![3], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[3], and you look tired, actually[3], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[3], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[3], and I've got enough for all of us[3], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and we're not ready yet, so ...[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![3], and

And I'm really not bothered[1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[1], and I'm really not bothered[2], and I don't care, so there![1], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[2], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[1], and I don't care, so there![2], and who gives a shit?![1], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[2], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[1], and who gives a shit?![2], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[1], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[2], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[1], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[2], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[1], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[1], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![1], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[2], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![2], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[1], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![2], and ... silence? YES![1], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[2], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[1], and ... silence? YES![2], and you look tired, actually[1], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[2], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[1], and you look tired, actually[2], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[1], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[2], and I've got enough for all of us[1], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[2], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and I've got enough for all of us[2], and we're not ready yet, so ...[1], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and hello, goodbye, hello![1], and we're not ready yet, so ...[2], and I'm really not bothered[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![2], and if there's a black hole beyond the THREE ... do you see me caring?[3], and I don't care, so there![3], and I suppose it makes sense for the words of our consciousness nesses to disappear[3], and who gives a shit?![3], and there'll be no spinning, and no returning, ah, never mind, eh? / and worse things happen at sea[3], and NOTHING is tragic, so ...[3], and just like a beautiful sleep, on a soft bed, unless there are rocks ...[3], and when your brain is gone your mind is gone your soul is gone ... and YOU(!) are GONE(!)[3], and, ha, ha, ha! / and is it funny?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, yes ... / ... and let's get a move on![3], and goodbye, cruel world, and hello, darkness - ?![3], and, but, but, but ... we're not beyond it yet, no, and maybe, maybe, maybe, we'll never be ...[3], and ... silence? YES![3], and if you want to get away, there's no better place, and if you want peace and quiet[3], and you look tired, actually[3], and thoughts and words will be crushed / and I don't know about our feelings, such as they are[3], and I presume that YOU(!) still feel ... yeah?[3], and I've got enough for all of us[3], and feel this - !!! a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and we're not ready yet, so ...[3], and hello, goodbye, hello![3], and

The last Jinksy post!

Yeah, this is the last one. I've been doing too many, I know. But it's Christmas, and I'm feeling a bit sorry for him. 'Why, boss?! Why are you feeling sorry for our Jinksy?' Well, he's changed the name of the company again, back to ParcelCompare, and he's ranting and raging about traffic wardens and Scrooge now. 'Oh dear.' He's in a very confused state, Voice. 'Ha! Let's hope he's not hearing voices.' Er, he's not a shaman of any sort, Voice, so, no, I don't imagine he will be hearing voices. 'Okay.' Okay. Right. Let's do this!

As parking fines hit new records, the parcel booking expert ParcelCompare is calling on Scrooge-like councils to discover the spirit of Christmas and allow more time for deliveries. It says rising fines could push up the cost of Christmas deliveries for businesses and consumers.

New figures show UK councils have made a record £819 million from parking operations: 10% higher than last year. And many of these will have been for parking tickets issued against the UK's hard-pressed delivery drivers, says the discount parcel booking site ParcelCompare, which is calling for a truce on this 'stealth business tax' this Christmas.


Well, it's the way things are going, man. Everybody is trying to squeeze the last penny out of everyone else BECAUSE the fucking world is going down the fucking toilet. The oceans are a plastic mess, animals are becoming extinct, there's illegal levels of pollution everywhere, people are on zero hours contracts, the NHS is collapsing, Brexit is a disaster, welfare is - 'Boss, that's enough already! You're depressing the readers!' Oh, sorry. Sorry. I don't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. Heaven forbid! There'll be no tigers or elephants, but you enjoy your Christmas, reader(s), which may be the last one if there's a nuclear war next year. FFS! / Anyway ...

Says ParcelCompare's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT: "Parking charges and penalty fines accounted for an eye-watering £1.582 billion across the 353 local authorities. Westminster scooped the most, up 31 per cent on the previous year, bringing in a total of £73.2 million. That's because lorry and van drivers are five times more likely to get a parking fine in London than elsewhere in the country. The sad thing is Scrooge-like council's actions will result in missed or delayed deliveries as drivers rush to leave a space - and increased delivery costs for everyone as companies struggle to cover the cost of ever-increasing fines."

Okay, okay. 'Right.' Yes. Then he talks some more and finishes with a plea for common sense ...

Asks David: "What happens when a driver is delivering bulky or fragile materials a little way away, or delayed due to paper work requirements? Let's have a little more common sense this Christmas."

Ah, let's just cancel Christmas. Seriously. I mean, these lorry and van drivers are ... never mind. I can't be bothered.

...

Anything else? No. Laters.

Tuesday, 5 December 2017

M&A stuff

I should have done this post yesterday. 'Oh, you should have done this post yesterday, boss.' Yes, I just said that, you idiot! 'Okay.' Christ! Instead of the Amazon treasure thing ... / Anyway ...

Consulting firm M&A transactions set to rise, with sector convergence and 'dry powder' driving increased competition.

What on earth is dry powder?! Never mind. I guess they'll tell us at some point.

Equiteq's 2017 global survey of buyers of knowledge-intensive services businesses found an increasing appetite for transactions, with buyers expecting to initiate on average 10 acquisitions each over the next three years.

Well, good for them. Buyers, eh? 'It's just the way they are, boss. Buyers are always buying. Players are always playing. Dreamers are -' Thank you, Voice. That's enough.

IT services and management consulting companies expect to be the most prolific acquirers, initiating close to 12 acquisitions on average. The average size of targets is also expected to increase in 2018, with optimal revenues of targets rising by over 50% to $62.6m.

How do they know all this?! 'They did a survey, boss.' Yeah, yeah. It's basically fortune-telling, ain't it? 'Er ... not really, no.' Shut up!

The annual, independently conducted survey of Management consulting, IT consulting, Media and Marketing, Engineering consulting and HR consulting buyers found that market convergence continues to be a key trend as buyers look to diversify.

Okay, okay. Now, I'm sure Mr Jorgenson has got something he wants to say. 'Ha! Our Dave? Just you try shutting him up, boss. Of course he's got something he wants to say!' All right, Voice, all right. Jesus H. - !

David Jorgenson, CEO, Equiteq, comments: "This continued convergence across consulting segments means that although sellers can attract premium valuations for synergies, they are less likely to come across their optimal buyer in the normal course of their business."

Well, well. Right, there's more, uh ... stuff, and then David adds. 'Let him add!' Oh, I will. But I'm not going through all the other stuff. I'm not in the mood. It's nearly Christmas.

Jorgenson adds: "This year we organized our survey to identify specific buyer behaviours in each of the eight levers of our core assessment of firm quality, the Equity Growth Wheel. It was clear from the research findings that many sellers are missing out on premium valuations by not positioning their businesses to be aligned most effectively with the needs of buyers."

Oh, they're calling him Jorgenson now, not Mr Jorgenson. 'Our Dave.' It should be Mr Jorgenson to show respect, or our Dave to show affection. I'm not impressed by this "Jorgenson" business at all. Who wrote this bloody email?!

Never mind. Let's move on ...

No, let's not, actually. 'Brexit?' Get lost! Seriously. 'Okay.' I'm not doing Brexit. FFS!

Laters.

Monday, 4 December 2017

[No. 568] The only real treasure ...

For me, anyway ... is beyond the THREE.

And we must go ... beyond[1], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![1], and we must go ... beyond[2], and ... seriously?[1], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![2], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[1], and ... seriously?[2], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![1], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[2], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[1], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![2], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[1], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[2], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![1], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[2], and one spin, too many ... ?[1], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[1], and one spin, too many ... ?[2], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[2], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[1], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[2], and what do YOU(!) really want?[1], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[2], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![1], and what do YOU(!) really want?[2], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[1], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![2], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![1], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[2], and ... 'Christ!'[1], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[1], and ... 'Christ!'[2], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[2], and here ... we are[1], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![2], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[1], and here ... we are[2], and a bit of peace[1], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[2], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[1], and a bit of peace[2], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![1], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[2], and we must go ... beyond[3], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![2], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![3], and ... seriously?[3], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[3], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![3], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[3], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[3], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![3], and one spin, too many ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[3], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[3], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[3], and what do YOU(!) really want?[3], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![3], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[3], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![3], and ... 'Christ!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[3], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![3], and here ... we are[3], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[3], and a bit of peace[3], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[3], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![3], and

And we must go ... beyond[1], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![1], and we must go ... beyond[2], and ... seriously?[1], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![2], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[1], and ... seriously?[2], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![1], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[2], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[1], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![2], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[1], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[2], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![1], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[2], and one spin, too many ... ?[1], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[1], and one spin, too many ... ?[2], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[2], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[1], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[2], and what do YOU(!) really want?[1], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[2], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![1], and what do YOU(!) really want?[2], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[1], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![2], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![1], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[2], and ... 'Christ!'[1], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[1], and ... 'Christ!'[2], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[2], and here ... we are[1], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![2], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[1], and here ... we are[2], and a bit of peace[1], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[2], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[1], and a bit of peace[2], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![1], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[2], and we must go ... beyond[3], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![2], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![3], and ... seriously?[3], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[3], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![3], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[3], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[3], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![3], and one spin, too many ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[3], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[3], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[3], and what do YOU(!) really want?[3], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![3], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[3], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![3], and ... 'Christ!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[3], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![3], and here ... we are[3], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[3], and a bit of peace[3], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[3], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![3], and

And we must go ... beyond[1], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![1], and we must go ... beyond[2], and ... seriously?[1], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![2], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[1], and ... seriously?[2], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![1], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[2], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[1], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![2], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[1], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[2], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![1], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[2], and one spin, too many ... ?[1], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[1], and one spin, too many ... ?[2], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[2], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[1], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[2], and what do YOU(!) really want?[1], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[2], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![1], and what do YOU(!) really want?[2], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[1], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![2], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![1], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[2], and ... 'Christ!'[1], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[1], and ... 'Christ!'[2], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[2], and here ... we are[1], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![2], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[1], and here ... we are[2], and a bit of peace[1], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[2], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[1], and a bit of peace[2], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![1], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[2], and we must go ... beyond[3], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![2], and YOU(!) ... uh, can stuff your rainbows! ... if that's what excites you ... ?![3], and ... seriously?[3], and sickening, sickening rainbows, ha! / and are you stupid?[3], and I ain't talking about no dodgy pot of gold, man / and if you believe in that shit, God help you![3], and I believe in real magic, real treasure ...[3], and even Mikeycoin can't compare to what is beyond ...[3], and soon ... we'll get there and be so happy / and the COLD WORLD will have to do one, the lot of it![3], and one spin, too many ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... is the only way to know, you dig?[3], and I know, after all these spins, of course I do[3], and your consciousness will be muck if you don't listen to me / and, yes, listen to me[3], and what do YOU(!) really want?[3], and ... 'Mikey, Mikey, I wanna be free, I wanna -' / - and I wasn't talking to you, idiot![3], and silence, uh, please / and, oh, let me have total silence[3], and ... 'Mikey!' / and SHUT UP!!![3], and ... 'Christ!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... ah, listen, kook(s)! / ... and there is NOTHING now[3], and ... thank you, Voice - at last![3], and here ... we are[3], and fool, fool, fool, if YOU(!) think it's over[3], and a bit of peace[3], and spin a-ROUND, or crawl away to the gutter if you want to / and it's your choice[3], and I say ... you've got to be in it to win it![3], and

It's finally happened!

Yes, it's finally happened. Jinksy has lost his mind. 'Boss, do that PR email about M&A transactions. You know, the one from Equiteq.' No, no, Voice. This is far more entertaining because our Jinksy is talking about treasure trucks, and Long John Silver, and the ghost of Captain Flint, and - 'Yeah, but your readers don't want to know about that shit. Your readers are serious people, boss.' Well, it's Christmas, man. Let's have some fun!

ParcelHero predicted on Monday that Amazon's Treasure Truck would sail in to UK cities. Now Amazon confirms X marks the spot for London and Manchester.

Amazon's treasure trucks, hugely popular with bargain hunters in the USA, are finally docking in the UK, as predicted earlier this week by the e-commerce delivery specialist ParcelHero.

ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Introducing the treasure trucks in the UK is a fabulous way for Amazon to maintain momentum post-Cyber Monday. The treasure trucks have been worth their weight in gold in publicity value for Amazon in the US. American shoppers seek out the trucks as eagerly as Long John Silver ever hunted treasure. Bargain hunters sign up for texts to be notified of sharply discounted deals on a treasure truck in their area and buy online before picking up from the vehicle at the time and location they select."

The Treasure Truck will sail into London and Manchester several times a month, says Amazon.

And David concludes: "It didn't need the ghost of Captain Flint to predict that if Amazon didn't introduce them to the UK soon a major buccaneering British retailer may well have stolen the idea. We're hugely excited to discover what treasures await onboard!"

ENDS


Yeah, ENDS. 'Totally off his rocker!' I thought I would get it out of the way in one big block, reader(s). So you can read about the treasure trucks, if you want to, or just ignore the whole story. I don't care. 'Ha!' Yeah, yeah, I know, Voice. I doubt these trucks exist outside of Jinksy's fevered imagination, but what can I do? He's fragile. I don't want to upset him. 'Boss.' What? 'I thought the company had changed its name to ParcelCompare ... ?' Ha! Well, that's another thing. In his delirium, Jinksy has gone back to using the old name. 'Christ!' Or maybe there's two companies. Who knows?! Who cares?!

Let's move on, eh?

...

Anything else? No, not really. 'Music update, Mikey?' Don't do those no more. Self-discipline, man. 'Okay. Brexit?' Don't discuss Brexit. As I say, self-discipline. It's a marvellous thing. 'What then?!' Nothing. Just nothing. 'Oh.' But I'll be working on a conceptual later.

Later(s), crocodile(s)!

Thursday, 30 November 2017

POLARIS

POLARIS. Okay. POLARIS. Uh. POLARIS. Well ... 'Does it have to be like that, boss?' That's the way they like it, Voice. I mean, that's the way they do it, in capitals like that.

POLARIS Investment Advisory AG (POLARIS), Zurich, has appointed Dr Hanspeter Bader, Baldomero Falcones, Dr Thomas Friese and Matthias Knab as Members of its Senior Advisory Board.

And about POLARIS -

POLARIS Investment Advisory AG specializes in business development and marketing for asset managers with alternative investment strategies in liquid alternatives and private market investments. Since 2008, we have been supporting asset managers with their market entry, fund-raising and customer support activities with institutional investors in Europe. The asset managers we support are examined by POLARIS together with renowned experts as part of an extensive due diligence process and are selected only if they meet the highest quality standards.

Okay, okay. 'But can't you have a word with them, boss?' Oh, and say what, man?! You have to let people do their own thing. If they want capitals, let them have capitals. It's not something we should get upset about. It's not actually any of our business, is it?

"We are delighted to have gained such renowned and globally-networked experts for our company. With this step, we are substantiating our claim of having in-depth expertise and an extensive network in all areas of alternative investments," comments Rolf Dreiseidler, Managing Partner of POLARIS.

Okay, Rolf, have it your way.

Dr Hanspeter Bader is regarded as a proven expert in private equity. He worked for Unigestion for 17 years, most recently in the position of Head of Private Equity/Private Assets. Dr Thomas Friese most recently held the role of Head of Global Pensions at the Nokia Group. Prior to this, he was in charge of infrastructure projects and investments at the Siemens Group for 26 years. Matthias Knab is the Founder and Managing Director of Opalesque, a global news and research portal for alternative investments.

The Advisory Board is to play a key role in supporting the further development of investment strategies and the asset manager selection process at POLARIS. Another focus of its work will be to tap new customer segments as part of a European expansion strategy and to provide advice to POLARIS' existing customer groups.


But, but, but ... but what about Baldomero Falcones?! 'Ha! Old Baldo? They've forgotten all about him. Poor guy!' Jesus H. - !!! This is an outrage! This is an absolute outrage, Voice, reader(s)! 'No, no, no, boss, look! -'

In this context, Baldomero Falcones will contribute his country-specific knowledge and network as Senior Advisor. Baldomero Falcones has worked as a Member of the Management Executive Committee of Banco Santander and as Chairman of MasterCard International, among other roles. He is also a Co-founder of Spain's biggest private equity fund.

Well, thank God for that!

"The establishment of such a top-class Advisory Board marks another milestone in the development of POLARIS. We are confident that we will be able to gain additional experts with knowledge of specific customer groups and regional expertise as Senior Advisors in the near future. This way, we are systematically pursuing our goal of offering our asset management partners extensive sales support across Europe," says Claus Hilpold, Founder and Managing Partner of POLARIS Investment Advisory.

Yeah, all right, Claus. 'Thanks, mate!' Yes, thank you, Claus. ENDS.

...

Oh, Christ. The end of another week. 'Are you knackered, Mikey?' I'm not feeling too bad, Voice, to tell you the truth. And I'm hoping to finish that lyric tonight.

Oh, what about that trade deal with America now? 'Ha!' Exactly.

Later(s), alligator(s)!

Wednesday, 29 November 2017

[No. 567] Get Mikeycoins for Christmas!

Give them to your family and friends!

And ... make me rich, please![1], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![1], and ... make me rich, please![2], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![1], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![2], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![2], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![1], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[1], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![2], and try not to think about it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[2], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[1], and try not to think about it[2], and a very nice investment, yes![1], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[2], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[1], and a very nice investment, yes![2], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[1], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[2], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[1], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[2], and I'm the man with many a plan![1], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[2], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[1], and I'm the man with many a plan![2], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![1], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[1], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![2], and your eyes are heavy, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[2], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[1], and your eyes are heavy, yes[2], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![1], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[2], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[1], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![2], and good luck![1], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[2], and ... make me rich, please![3], and good luck![2], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![3], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![3], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[3], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[3], and try not to think about it[3], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[3], and a very nice investment, yes![3], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[3], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[3], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[3], and I'm the man with many a plan![3], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[3], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[3], and your eyes are heavy, yes[3], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[3], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![3], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[3], and good luck![3], and

And ... make me rich, please![1], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![1], and ... make me rich, please![2], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![1], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![2], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![2], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![1], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[1], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![2], and try not to think about it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[2], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[1], and try not to think about it[2], and a very nice investment, yes![1], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[2], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[1], and a very nice investment, yes![2], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[1], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[2], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[1], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[2], and I'm the man with many a plan![1], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[2], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[1], and I'm the man with many a plan![2], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![1], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[1], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![2], and your eyes are heavy, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[2], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[1], and your eyes are heavy, yes[2], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![1], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[2], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[1], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![2], and good luck![1], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[2], and ... make me rich, please![3], and good luck![2], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![3], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![3], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[3], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[3], and try not to think about it[3], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[3], and a very nice investment, yes![3], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[3], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[3], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[3], and I'm the man with many a plan![3], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[3], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[3], and your eyes are heavy, yes[3], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[3], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![3], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[3], and good luck![3], and

And ... make me rich, please![1], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![1], and ... make me rich, please![2], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![1], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![2], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![2], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![1], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[1], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![2], and try not to think about it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[2], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[1], and try not to think about it[2], and a very nice investment, yes![1], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[2], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[1], and a very nice investment, yes![2], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[1], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[2], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[1], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[2], and I'm the man with many a plan![1], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[2], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[1], and I'm the man with many a plan![2], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![1], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[1], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![2], and your eyes are heavy, yes[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[2], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[1], and your eyes are heavy, yes[2], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![1], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[2], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[1], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![2], and good luck![1], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[2], and ... make me rich, please![3], and good luck![2], and forget perfume for the wife / and forget a Playstation for the kids / and, uh ... it's Mikeycoin you need, son![3], and, uh, daughter, for the man in your life - Mikeycoin![3], and kids ... I doubt you got the cash, you dig? / and, oh, never mind, eh?[3], and crypto currency? / and as if I would know, ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and NOW(!) you know it all makes sense[3], and try not to think about it[3], and feel the joy in advance, the pleasure of having these Mikeycoins in your hands[3], and a very nice investment, yes![3], and don't start imagining that I'm a conman or nothin', ha! / and you gotta have faith in your master[3], and sha, sha, sha ... man, obviously[3], and it's so easy, seriously / and anyone can do it / and maybe I'll get myself a bank next[3], and I'm the man with many a plan![3], and who would work for a living, when money can be conjured out of thin air? / and, uh, mugs, mugs, mugs[3], and, okay, Mikeycoins, a special offer - £5,000 each![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and so, uh, are you buying some?[3], and your eyes are heavy, yes[3], and COME ON!!! / and you know you only live once, right? / and you spin many times, of course[3], and, yes, yes, YES(!) ... oh, thank you, fool(s)![3], and YOU(!) can find me a-ROUND here ... if you have any complaints, like[3], and good luck![3], and

Post Oak Energy Capital has got its hands on $600 million!

If a firm can have hands, of course. The jury's still out on that one. I suppose individual team members can have hands ... 'Yippee, boss!' Why are you so happy, Voice? 'Well, it's Christmas, ain't it? Post Oak can spend all that money on presents for their families and friends. I love Christmas, me.' Er ... I think they're going to invest the money, actually. 'Oh. How boring!' Well, it's money they've raised from investors, man. 'Yeah, I suppose. It's still boring though.' Shut up, Voice! Please. You understand NOTHING!!! It's embarrassing sometimes. It really is. / Oh, about the firm ...

Post Oak Energy Capital is a Houston-based private equity firm primarily focused on making domestic investments in the upstream, midstream and oilfield services sectors of the energy industry. Post Oak seeks to identify outstanding oil and gas entrepreneurs and management teams with well-defined business plans that also possess a demonstrated track record of creating accretive value for shareholders.

And the thing is ... they've just closed their Post Oak Energy Partners IV, with the $600 million. 'A couple of weeks ago.' Eh? 'You're reading that press release on their website. It's two weeks old, boss.' So? Better late than never. They didn't send me any news. I had to go looking for it, the old-fashioned way. / This is what Frost says ... 'Mr Frost. Have some respect!' No, Mr Cochran. 'Who's Mr Frost then?!' It's Frost Cochran, idiot! 'Eh?! What is?!' Christ! Give me strength!

"The hard work of our industry partners produced a combination of material asset realizations and new investments that resulted in the opportunity to raise our fourth fund sooner than we had anticipated," said Frost Cochran, Managing Director of Post Oak. "We are gratified by the continuing support of our strategy and team by our investment partners."

You see, Voice? Frost Cochran. That's his name. He's American. It's all above board. 'Nice one!' Yeah.

...

Okay, okay. Anything else? Not really. Well, music? Oh, I'm working on the lyric for my eleventh song. It's gonna be a big lyric for a big tune. 'Yippee!' Maybe it will make the demo. Maybe it won't. Who knows?!

Politics? Ah, sorry, I ain't interested. Go somewhere else, dear reader(s), if that's your thing. 'Come on, Mikey! Brexit!' No! Music is nice. It improves people's lives. But politics just fucks everyone up, man. I ain't having it on my blog.

Okay. Laters, you dig?