Thursday, 19 January 2017

HSBC, UBS, and Goldman Sachs are moving 1,000 jobs each out of the UK

Yeah, roughly a thousand jobs each, I think. For now. [Maybe 3,000 at Goldman!] My guess is, this will just be the start. They will wait to see what the damage of Brexit is first. 'They probably have plans already to move everything to Paris, Frankfurt, and Dublin, boss. They just don't want everyone screaming at them on Twitter, for the moment.' Maybe, Voice. I can see the sense of that. I mean, just give people a warning that they're leaving, and then make the big move later.

Obviously, dear reader(s), I'm absolutely sickened that I'm having to write about Brexit again. If I had my way, I would just write about music. What songs I'm listening to. What songs I'm writing or recording. But you know how it is. This is my job, for my sins. 'It would be bizarre, boss, if you didn't write about Brexit. It could destroy the British finance industry.' Yes. Christ!

Oh, let's talk about something else, seriously, yeah? Cheer me up, Voice. 'Ha! Well, do you know that Obama has sacked Major General Schwartz?' Who is he? 'Well, he hasn't actually been sacked yet. However, he's been told to stand down during the inauguration.' Yeah, great. Who the hell is he?! 'He's the guy in charge of security tomorrow. Or he was.' Oh, I see. Well, that's not cheering me up, man. Isn't there anything else? 'What music are you listening to?' Jesus H. - ! I haven't put anything on yet.

Yes, the inauguration. I doubt there will be any problems tomorrow. Apparently, Trump is bringing in his own security. Bikers for Trump, or something. 'It's basically going to be a rerun of Altamont, boss.' Shut up, you idiot!

The Stones aren't going to be there. 'Gimme Shelter - !!!' Yeah, I'm listening to Gimme Shelter. Let's rock!

...

Later(s), crocodile(s)! Have a nice weekend!

Wednesday, 18 January 2017

[No. 481] Come together!

One and one and one is ...

And, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[1], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![1], and, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[2], and I know you, and you know me[1], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![2], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[1], and I know you, and you know me[2], and I'm just trying to help people ...[1], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[2], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[1], and I'm just trying to help people ...[2], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[1], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[2], and in a perfect world ...[1], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[2], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[1], and in a perfect world ...[2], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[1], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[1], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[2], and ... acid eyes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[2], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[1], and ... acid eyes![2], and ... who can resist?[1], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[2], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[1], and ... who can resist?[2], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[1], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[2], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![1], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[2], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[1], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![2], and look at the kooks![1], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[2], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[1], and look at the kooks![2], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[1], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[2], and, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[3], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[2], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![3], and I know you, and you know me[3], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[3], and I'm just trying to help people ...[3], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[3], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[3], and in a perfect world ...[3], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[3], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[3], and ... acid eyes![3], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[3], and ... who can resist?[3], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[3], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[3], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![3], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[3], and look at the kooks![3], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[3], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[3], and

And, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[1], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![1], and, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[2], and I know you, and you know me[1], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![2], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[1], and I know you, and you know me[2], and I'm just trying to help people ...[1], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[2], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[1], and I'm just trying to help people ...[2], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[1], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[2], and in a perfect world ...[1], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[2], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[1], and in a perfect world ...[2], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[1], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[1], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[2], and ... acid eyes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[2], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[1], and ... acid eyes![2], and ... who can resist?[1], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[2], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[1], and ... who can resist?[2], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[1], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[2], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![1], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[2], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[1], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![2], and look at the kooks![1], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[2], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[1], and look at the kooks![2], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[1], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[2], and, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[3], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[2], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![3], and I know you, and you know me[3], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[3], and I'm just trying to help people ...[3], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[3], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[3], and in a perfect world ...[3], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[3], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[3], and ... acid eyes![3], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[3], and ... who can resist?[3], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[3], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[3], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![3], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[3], and look at the kooks![3], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[3], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[3], and

And, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[1], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![1], and, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[2], and I know you, and you know me[1], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![2], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[1], and I know you, and you know me[2], and I'm just trying to help people ...[1], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[2], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[1], and I'm just trying to help people ...[2], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[1], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[2], and in a perfect world ...[1], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[2], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[1], and in a perfect world ...[2], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[1], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[1], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[2], and ... acid eyes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[2], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[1], and ... acid eyes![2], and ... who can resist?[1], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[2], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[1], and ... who can resist?[2], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[1], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[2], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![1], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[2], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[1], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![2], and look at the kooks![1], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[2], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[1], and look at the kooks![2], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[1], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[2], and, uh ... THREE - ?! / Er ... maybe[3], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[2], and I can unite all of YOU(!) behind my path of pure insanity / Oh, baby, let's go!!![3], and I know you, and you know me[3], and a-ROUND here is so confusing / Who knows what it is leading to?[3], and I'm just trying to help people ...[3], and I'm your master / yes, yes, yes[3], and there's sadness in your eyes ... because no one has ever showed you the way - ?[3], and in a perfect world ...[3], and don't wish things were different, little fool / Man, you gotta wish you were better, you dig?[3], and if you want to get beyond, you will have to trust me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is ... only the beginning of the trip[3], and ... acid eyes![3], and I promise you: if I hold you in my armchair, you will feel my disease[3], and ... who can resist?[3], and I'm talking my personal guarantee here, folks, or ... you get your soul back[3], and my disease? / this is my disease, just spinning, man[3], and come together, come together, come together ... all the slaves looking for freedom, ha![3], and you can change, you don't have to be square / oh, you can be a-ROUND, my friend(s)[3], and look at the kooks![3], and I guess, I guess, I guess ... what do I guess? / uh, you can't guess?[3], and YOU(!) ... have such a long way to go[3], and

The Bunker says there's a Fintech skills shortage

Oh, God! Not this Bunker guy again! Why won't the pervert leave me alone? 'It's not a guy, boss. It's a firm, as you well know.' Whatever, Voice. Whatever!

Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Wednesday morning PR email, back by popular demand. An email from Beau "Shandy" Bass, too. 'Great!'

Skills shortage threatens to slow pace of Fintech innovation, warns The Bunker.

Ha!

The Bunker is hosting a series of Fintech events to bring together start-ups and experts to help shape the future of financial services.

The guy never gives up! All right, what is this?

With research highlighting the digital skills deficit that the UK is currently facing, Fintech companies must be selective about the skills they employ in-house. This is according to Phil Bindley, CTO at The Bunker, who argues that Fintechs should focus their attention on developing a great product, rather that the platform on which it is delivered.

Fair enough.

As Innovate Finance, the body representing the Fintech sector in the UK, puts its plans together for the next "Big Bang", research from Harvey Nash shows that 65 per cent of CIOs and technology leaders are suffering from a technology skills shortage. This deficit presents a real challenge for Fintechs, who may struggle to drive innovation without access to the relevant skills and talent.

Oh dear. What are they going to do?

For Phil Bindley, Fintechs have two choices when it comes to addressing this obstacle. They can either compete for the skilled staff needed to manage infrastructure internally. Or they can find a trusted partner who can help plug the skills gap by taking on this responsibility.

Okay.

He commented: "There is undoubtedly a digital skills shortage in the UK and this is something that threatens to derail the pace of Fintech innovation. Companies within this space need a lot more than just software development skills to build the infrastructure that delivers digital financial technology services. This requires a number of skilled individuals that are currently in short supply, such as infrastructure experts, operating systems experts and digital security experts. As organizations continue to compete for a resource that is in short supply, they will need to make tough decisions about the skills they adopt in-house and what they decide to outsource."

Well, the problem is, we don't have any goddamn education in this country. 'Probably never will, the way things are going, boss.' Voice, the only solution is to bring more immigrants in. 'The government won't like that, man!' / Well ...

"The companies that are really disrupting the financial industry are those that are ploughing their time and energy into innovative product development, as opposed to the management of infrastructure. Ultimately, Fintechs need to focus on making their products and software as great as they need to be to attract customers. Therefore, these companies will be wise to lean on a trusted service provider for the management of servers and infrastructure, in order to help bridge the skills gap. However, the financial services market is one that is highly regulated and this makes it essential for Fintech companies to conduct due diligence with regards to their outsourcing arrangements. Those using a Cloud Services Provider (CSP) must prove to the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) that they are not introducing any degree of risk to the financial services environment, so opting for a provider who has a pedigree in compliance and security is vital. Working with a CSP who has accreditations such as PCI DSS and ISO 27001 will alleviate the regulatory pressures that come with operating in this sector and can also provide a competitive advantage. But ultimately, working with a trusted provider will free up more time for innovation, which is what Fintech is all about," concludes Bindley.

Well, outsourcing or something. I don't know. / Oh, I've been invited to one of these things -

The Bunker is hosting a series of Fintech events, which bring together start-ups and experts to help shape the future of financial services. These events will foster long-term mutually beneficial relationships, designed to scale new business models into live products and services.

'Nice. Will you be going, boss?' What?! And meet The Bunker, face to face, like? 'Yeah.' No. Do me a favour! Christ!

...

Anything else? Brexit? I ain't talking/writing about Brexit no more because I value my mental health too highly. However, I will just say I find it amusing ... Mayhem's claim yesterday that this country of sixty-five million people is coming together behind her deranged vision of a hard Brexit. 'Ha!' Yeah. Doesn't she ever go on Twitter?

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

I'm writing about Brexit again ... Christ!

"I woke up screamin' ..."

Ha! Yeah, I'm writing about Brexit again. [And I will try to make sense, though I ain't promising anything because I'm psychotically angry, just not in my right mind at all.] Probably for the last time. I'm absolutely sick of it, but ... just look at the mess we're in, man! I mean, seriously. Was this the fucking plan?!

Theresa May is putting the control of immigration before anything else. However, we need immigrants. Conservative and Labour governments haven't been letting them in for a laugh over the last fifty years or so. There's a reason why they were allowed to come. We need immigrants for the economy, for the NHS, for agriculture, for pensions, for all kinds of things.

We also need the EU. Is it any coincidence that Britain stopped being the so-called sick man of Europe after joining the EU? I don't think so. We don't have to love the EU, but it makes sense to stay as a member.

[Of course, Donald Trump is against the EU and NATO now. If they both collapse, I reckon Germany will be forced to rearm - including nuclear weapons. And the CIA won't like that one little bit. But I doubt Donald has thought this far ahead. Never mind, eh?]

And where is David Cameron?! This was all his bright idea. Where the hell is he?! / Actually, where the hell is Jeremy Corbyn? Doesn't he have anything to say? Oh, I forgot. There's some important business to attend to on his allotment. I think there's something wrong with the cucumbers. For crying out loud!

Brexit is a nightmare!

And it concerns me ... it concerns me, dear reader(s), that most of the people who voted for Brexit will die within the next ten years, while the children of Great Britain will be stuck with this nonsense and have to pay for it for the rest of their miserable lives. Is that fair? Does it sound remotely fair to you?

And, and, and ... what is Brexit doing to Great Britain's reputation around the world, man?! It looks like we hate foreigners. It looks like we're a bunch of fucking skinheads! It's embarrassing. And we want to do trade deals now? Really?

[Oh, I'm ranting! 'Calm down, Mikey!' Okay, Voice. It's a good job this is "satire", all this. 'Yeah. Whatever.']

...

Well, I tell you what I'm going to do, dear reader(s). I'm going to stop worrying about it. [Oh yes, yes, yes.] I'm only going to think about myself from now on. I'm going to play my guitar, and write my songs, and that's it. That's all I'm going to do, man. You dig?

2Pac had the right idea: "Fuck the world!"

Laters.

Monday, 16 January 2017

[No. 480] Let's evolve!

I'm thinking there's gotta be a better life beyond the THREE. You dig?

And, hello, again![1], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[1], and, hello, again![2], and, so ... come with me![1], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[2], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[1], and, so ... come with me![2], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[1], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[2], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![1], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[2], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![1], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![2], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[1], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![2], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[1], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[2], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[1], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[2], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[1], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[2], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![1], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[2], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[1], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![2], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[1], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[2], and it takes balls[1], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[2], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[1], and it takes balls[2], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![1], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[2], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[1], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![2], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[1], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![1], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[2], and I'm not complaining ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![2], and, hello, again![3], and I'm not complaining ...[2], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[3], and, so ... come with me![3], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[3], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[3], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![3], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![3], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[3], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[3], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[3], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[3], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![3], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[3], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[3], and it takes balls[3], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[3], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![3], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[3], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![3], and I'm not complaining ...[3], and

And, hello, again![1], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[1], and, hello, again![2], and, so ... come with me![1], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[2], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[1], and, so ... come with me![2], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[1], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[2], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![1], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[2], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![1], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![2], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[1], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![2], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[1], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[2], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[1], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[2], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[1], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[2], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![1], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[2], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[1], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![2], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[1], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[2], and it takes balls[1], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[2], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[1], and it takes balls[2], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![1], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[2], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[1], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![2], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[1], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![1], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[2], and I'm not complaining ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![2], and, hello, again![3], and I'm not complaining ...[2], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[3], and, so ... come with me![3], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[3], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[3], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![3], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![3], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[3], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[3], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[3], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[3], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![3], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[3], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[3], and it takes balls[3], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[3], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![3], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[3], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![3], and I'm not complaining ...[3], and

And, hello, again![1], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[1], and, hello, again![2], and, so ... come with me![1], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[2], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[1], and, so ... come with me![2], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[1], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[2], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![1], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[2], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![1], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![2], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[1], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![2], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[1], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[2], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[1], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[2], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[1], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[2], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![1], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[2], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[1], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![2], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[1], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[2], and it takes balls[1], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[2], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[1], and it takes balls[2], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![1], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[2], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[1], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![2], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[1], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![1], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[2], and I'm not complaining ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![2], and, hello, again![3], and I'm not complaining ...[2], and how are you doing? / Really? Well, that's interesting! / Some people never change[3], and, so ... come with me![3], and I'm your motivator, man / and you can motivate me[3], and, uh ... so glad you could join us, the kooks[3], and a-ROUND here is all we got for the moment ... / but what a moment, man![3], and one in a trillion ... ? / oh, more than a trillion![3], and, man, man, man, yeah! / Seriously ...[3], and ... let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, let it evolve, let it be, yes, yes, yes[3], and the WORLD - ?! / JESUS - !!! ... son, daughter / YOU(!) ... gotta forget about the world[3], and evil comes through the dirt to our paradise ...[3], and the pound keeps falling, but the koo ... koo ... kooks keep spinning - on, and on, and on, ha![3], and evil comes from the mouths of idiots ...[3], and I'm dreaming of a NEW TOMORROW / Believe it or not ... uh, try to believe, please[3], and it takes balls[3], and I suppose YOU(!) ... have got some better ideas, eh? / Maybe I should speak to the Voice ...[3], and where is he, when you actually need him? IDIOT!!![3], and I can do it on my own, if I have to ... / and how many became visionaries straight after Rimbaud?[3], and ... oh, we had to wait ages for Dylan, Morrison, and Smith[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Man, it never ever stops![3], and I'm not complaining ...[3], and

The pound is falling, falling, falling ...

Well, well ... uh, well. This is a surprise! Ain't it? 'Er ... no, boss.' Well, of course not. Mayhem opens her mouth and - 'Ha! Doesn't even need to open her mouth.' No, no ... the papers just have to say that she's going to open her mouth, and talk, talk, talk ... about Brexit. Hard. Red. White. Blue. Wonderful! [If you're insane ...]

And, apparently ... we're all supposed to unite behind a hard Brexit now. [Fuck that shit!] 'All hold hands and sing We shall overcome ... ?' Yeah, that's the idea, Voice. Apparently, the British people voted to live in some godforsaken tax haven. 'With no NHS?! With inflation going through the roof?!' Shut up! We've taken back control, you little idiot!

Christ! Man, I felt so out of control before, you know? I used to get this terrible anxiety about my country having no sovereignty. 'Oh, your country? So, you're the King of England, are you?' Jesus! I won't tell you again, Voice. Seriously. Please be quiet.

...

I think he's gone, dear reader(s).

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to The Beatles, man. Just random tracks.

Oh God! I want to think about music. I should think about my music, but ... I can't get Brexit and Trump out of my mind. The evil of the world has got to me. 'Go to a cave then.' Oh ... you again. I thought you were gone. 'Ha! I'll never be gone, Mikey.' Boss. 'Boss.' Thank you.

What a world! / However ... maybe a new world is coming. Trump and Brexit could be the last dying spasms of conservatism. Obviously, there will always be boneheads, but your average man and woman in the street may have their eyes opened over the next few years. 'We can hope, boss. Personally, I think the human race is doomed.' Oh, nice. 'Prepare for the astral plane, everyone! Prepare for spiritual evolution! You're moving on.' Okay. Bloody hell! [Whatever that all means ...]

Ha! Well ... me? Myself,  I'll be moving a-ROUND later, that's for sure. 'No. 480?' You bet your ass, No. 480! 'How many of these things are you going to write?' As many as it takes, man.

...

Anyway, I'm not talking/writing about politics no more. I'm really not. I'm absolutely sick of it. Only finance from now on. [Because I have to. It's my job.] And music. [Because I love it. And I'm determined to become a rock and roll shaman this year. Yes, this year!] / Okay, okay ... laters, yeah?

Thursday, 12 January 2017

[No. 479] I know I need to cut back ...

... to just one conceptual a week.

And another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[1], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[1], and another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[2], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[1], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[2], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![1], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[2], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[1], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![2], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[1], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[2], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[1], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[2], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[1], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[2], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[1], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[2], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![1], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[2], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![1], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![2], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[1], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![2], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[1], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[2], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[1], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[2], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[1], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[2], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![1], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[2], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[1], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![2], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[1], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[2], and ... stay OPEN!!![1], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[2], and another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[3], and ... stay OPEN!!![2], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[3], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[3], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![3], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[3], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[3], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[3], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[3], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[3], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![3], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![3], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[3], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[3], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[3], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[3], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![3], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[3], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[3], and ... stay OPEN!!![3], and

And another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[1], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[1], and another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[2], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[1], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[2], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![1], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[2], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[1], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![2], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[1], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[2], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[1], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[2], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[1], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[2], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[1], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[2], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![1], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[2], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![1], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![2], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[1], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![2], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[1], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[2], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[1], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[2], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[1], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[2], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![1], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[2], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[1], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![2], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[1], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[2], and ... stay OPEN!!![1], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[2], and another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[3], and ... stay OPEN!!![2], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[3], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[3], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![3], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[3], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[3], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[3], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[3], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[3], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![3], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![3], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[3], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[3], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[3], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[3], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![3], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[3], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[3], and ... stay OPEN!!![3], and

And another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[1], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[1], and another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[2], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[1], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[2], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![1], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[2], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[1], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![2], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[1], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[2], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[1], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[2], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[1], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[2], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[1], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[2], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![1], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[2], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![1], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![2], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[1], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![2], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[1], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[2], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[1], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[2], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[1], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[2], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![1], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[2], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[1], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![2], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[1], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[2], and ... stay OPEN!!![1], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[2], and another spin - ? / one more eternity ...[3], and ... stay OPEN!!![2], and I'm sure I get too DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND here ... but I just love it, you dig?[3], and I can't stop, don't wanna stop[3], and, man, I won't go to my doctor with it / uh, just imagine the embarrassment![3], and, oh ... like the white noise chaos, years ago[3], and I still hope ... that I'll get beyond the THREE, one of these spins / Am I crazy?[3], and here I am ... believing in the impossible - ?[3], and what do YOU(!) believe in? / Oh, let me guess[3], and if you're a SQUARE, I suggest you stay over there / Don't come to me with your wretched reality, such as it is[3], and this ... is important / I'm not a waster![3], and there are worse things one could do, like, like, well, like build a tunnel under the sacred Stonehenge, man, Jesus![3], and typical conservatives, they conserve NOTHING[3], and those old druids, I imagine they got a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND the stones, stoned[3], and, yes, shamans after my own heart ...[3], and here I am, no stones, a-ROUND out of my head, but ... rocks in my head the size of Gibraltar - ?[3], and like 2Pac, I don't care / only God can judge me![3], and the exploration of my consciousness ness is truly a great thing / I'd be a fool to stop, seriously[3], and, squares ... don't build walls around your minds / that ain't no way to live[3], and ... stay OPEN!!![3], and

Who on earth is Richard Peacock?!

Ha! You may well ask ... or wonder, dear reader(s). I couldn't tell you. 'Oh, shut up! Yes you could, boss. Stop teasing the readers.' All right, Voice. I like to have a laugh ...

Richard Peacock is just some cat who used to work at Aviva Investors, for his sins, but now he works at Kames Capital. It's no big deal. Just another finance cat. / Kames? [Update: I see from my archive that I've covered them before, philosophy and all. Never mind.]

Kames Capital is a specialist investment management business. From Edinburgh and London we manage £51.3 billion (€59.3 billion) on behalf of UK and international clients - including wealth managers, financial advisers, family offices, pension funds, financial institutions, government agencies and individuals.

Richard? Our Richard is managing the £455 million Kames Property Income fund with David Wise, whom I imagine is the lead manager on the fund. 'You imagine?!' No! I know. I know. Happy now? 'Yes.' / By the way, Kames Capital has an investment philosophy that encourages them to be more agile, more collaborative, more flexible, and more responsible. 'What?! Hang on a minute, boss! More agile, more collaborative, more flexible, and more responsible ... than what?!' Ha! I don't know, man. Other firms, I suppose. 'Okay. But why does this investment philosophy of theirs only "encourage" them?' What's your point, idiot? 'Christ! My point, man, is: why doesn't their philosophy make them more agile, more collaborative, more flexible, and more responsible?' Bloody hell! How should I know? Take it up with them if you're so concerned.

Jesus H. - ! Idiot! / This post is about RICHARD PEACOCK. I actually wanted to know why he felt he had to leave Aviva Investors for a new life at Kames Capital. 'Well, it's the old story, Mikey.' Is it? 'Of course it is. You know a lot of these finance characters are workaholics. It can be very depressing goofing off all the time at Aviva Investors. The pub in winter with the endless pints of Stella. The lazy days of summer in the park with all the ice cream. And the six weeks of the Christmas party!' Ha! Well, I can tell you that's finished early. 'Really?' Yeah. Tuesday. It was supposed to last until this Saturday night, but ... they couldn't manage it. 'They must be in a right state.' Yeah, they probably are. It doesn't bear thinking about.

...

Anything else? Only Donald Trump. His press conference yesterday was an absolute car crash. All this - Hey, I'm a great guy. I'm going to do great things, you wait and see. If the Russians love Donald Trump, that's wonderful. I love him too. He's going to be a great president, believe me. And so am I! I mean me, Donald. Who?! I'm Donald. I think he's a great guy. And don't worry about the Nazis in the CIA. I'm gonna build a wall around them. It'll be a beautiful wall.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Minal Patel, Ricardo Pineiro, and Matt Smith ...

Well, well ... / Oh, new partners at Foresight Group! Well done, guys! 'And girl, boss!' What?! Yes, Voice, give me a bloody chance! Well done, Minal! I haven't forgotten about you. / Well, well ...

Foresight Group ("Foresight"), a leading independent infrastructure and private equity investment manager, is pleased to announce the promotion of Minal Patel, Ricardo Pineiro and Matt Smith to Partner as of 1st January 2017.

Yes, yes ... dear reader(s), it's the Wednesday morning PR email, back by popular demand. 'Ha! I bet you're glad they put that Foresight in speech marks for you.' Christ, yeah! You better believe it! I'd be lost without their help.

The promotions follow continued expansion in the Group during 2016, which has seen staff numbers increase by 21% to more than 150 as Foresight opened two new offices during the year, and assets under management increase by 28% to £2.3 billion.

Expansion, eh? Nice one. 'In these times? Not bad! Not bad at all.' Tell me about it! 'Okay, well -' Shut up, you idiot! / Let's do the rest of it -

Foresight opened a new office in Sydney, Australia to support the deployment of the A$100m Australian Bioenergy Fund and to explore opportunities in the Solar sector. In the UK the deployment of the Recycling and Waste ("RAW") Fund cornerstoned by the UK Green Investment Bank (GIB) has continued with nine new investments into on-farm anaerobic digestion projects from the fund in 2016, many supporting the agricultural industry in Northern Ireland.

Uh ... okay.

Foresight has continued to expand its portfolio of solar power plants in the UK and funds managed by Foresight now own 76 operational solar plants with an enterprise value in excess of £1.5 billion and a generating capacity of 740MW.  Foresight Solar Fund Limited (ticker : FSFL) continues to deliver its 6.17p per annum target index-linked yield to investors and has a gross asset value of approximately £500 million, managing 16 solar assets across the UK with a generating capacity of 348MW, having successfully raised a further £61 million through a placement of treasury shares in September and a tap issue in October.

Yeah, okay, that's all great, but ... wasn't this supposed to be about the lovely Minal ... and those other two? 'Do the rest of the email, boss.' All right. What's this? -

In Italy, the Foresight and VEI Green joint venture, ForVEI, completed a €180 million refinancing package, which will support the creation of a 90MW utility scale platform owned, managed and operated by ForVEI. 

Yeah, yeah. And?

Foresight's Private Equity team launched the Foresight Regional Investment Fund in January 2016 with a series of events in the North West, opening a second regional office in Manchester, staffed by three investment professionals to support the deployment of the Fund. This team has already completed four investments from this £40 million fund, while the wider Foresight Private Equity team has completed a total of seventeen investments in the year with a total deployment in excess of £27.5 million.

What the hell is this?! Oh, that's enough! Seriously. 'I think we better get Bernard Fairman in, boss.' Who?! 'Bernard Fairman. Bernie. Our Bernie.' Who?! 'Christ! Bernard Fairman, the chairman of Foresight.' You mean Fairman the chairman? Oh, okay. 'He must have something to say about the new partners.' Let's hope so.

Bernard Fairman, Chairman of Foresight, commented: "As our business continues its rapid expansion, we will continue to promote regularly to add Partners who are able to contribute significant value add to the business. Matt, Minal and Ricardo have already made terrific contributions to their respective areas of focus, and we are delighted to welcome them formally into the Partnership, where I am confident they will all continue to help us in achieving our aims."

Well, well ... that's better! 'All's well that ends well, boss.' Yeah. You said it! Although there's a bit more. Some stuff on the firm -

About Foresight Group LLP ("Foresight"): Foresight Group is a leading independent infrastructure and private equity investment manager which has been managing investment funds on behalf of institutions and retail clients for more than 30 years. Foresight has £2.3 billion of assets under management across a number of funds, including Listed Vehicles, Limited Partnerships, Enterprise Investment Schemes (EISs) and Venture Capital Trusts (VCTs).

With the Foresight in speech marks again. 'Good!' I'd be lost without that, you know.

Ah, that's it, reader(s). Laters.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Carousel Capital Partners V - $400 million!!!

Yippee! / Oh, what's this?! ... I can imagine you're wondering, dear reader(s). 'They're always wondering something, boss.' I know they are, Voice. They're a pain in the arse.

Well, Carousel Capital Partners V is a new buyout fund from Carousel Capital. They were aiming to raise $300 million, but somehow managed to end up with $400 million. 'Ha! Why didn't they go for the cool half a billion, man?' BECAUSE ... that would have been too ambitious, man. 'Oh.' I think we should cut them some slack. $400 million is very good. I mean, it's $100 million more than they wanted, so ... / Anyway, about the firm -

Carousel Capital is a private equity investment firm that invests in companies headquartered in the Southeastern United States. This region produces the most GDP, has the most net private sector job growth and the largest population of any geographic region in the nation.

'Nice.' And there's more -

Since its founding in 1996, Carousel Capital has earned a reputation with both investors and business owners for successful investing within the Southeast. Carousel's unparalleled CEO investor network, direct deal sourcing capabilities, experienced investment team and successful investment track record uniquely position the firm to be the partner of choice for small buyout opportunities within the Southeast.

'Very nice.' And there's more. However, I'm not putting all of it in this post. It's just stuff about the southeast. They seem to be obsessed with the southeast.

Obviously, I, er ... wish them all the best with their fifth fund, BUT ... we have more important things to talk about, don't we? 'Er, like?' Like, uh ... well, well.

...

Uh, anything else? 'Yes!' BIG TIME! 'Politics?' Politics! YES! Jeremy Corbyn seems to be coming up with policies that will ... alienate every single voter in the land. 'Don't exaggerate, boss.' Oh, okay. Firstly, he now supports Brexit when 68 per cent of Labour voters are supposed to be Remainers. 'Oh.' Yeah. AND ... I've just read on the Guardian website that he wants to bring in a law to limit earnings. 'What?!' Yeah. So, you earn too much, and your money will be confiscated by the state. 'What?! 100 per cent of it?!' Yeah. 'Jesus H. Christ!' It's got to be a mistake. Seriously. 'I mean ...' / Meanwhile, the Tories are getting away with being ... completely incompetent. No one is challenging them! 'Oh, shit! I think the UK is finished, Mikey. Have you booked your ticket for Malibu yet?' Ha! Not yet, Voice. I need to finish my new demo first. 'Jesus H. Christ!' I know, I know ... what a mess!


Note: I'm sick of politics. This is the last time I will write about it. The last time I will even think about it. So there!