Friday 21 September 2007

Goldman Sachs: third quarter earnings £1.4 billion

While Wall Street banks such as Bear Sterns have seen a drop in quarterly earnings, Goldman's earnings this quarter have risen 79 per cent to £1.4 billion. This is the bank's third-best profit in its 138-year history.

This makes me wonder. Apparently, Goldman Sachs gambled on prices of securities tied to home loans declining. Are they employing money mystics? I'm pretty sure that no financial shamans work for the bank yet, but I'm not sure about the mystics. Actually, I've never really explained what the difference is. Financial shamans are superior to money mystics. They have more advanced skills and stronger links with the spirit world. They are the bridge between this world and the next. Money mystics merely make financial/stock predictions and do not have the authority to deal with high-ranking spirits. For example, a money mystic would never be able to make contact with Big Herb or Ganesh.

Anyway, back to Goldman Sachs. It is possible that they have hired a money mystic or two - it would explain their recent earnings. I will have to make some enquiries.