Thursday 13 September 2007

NYSE Euronext to close trading rooms

The world’s largest stock exchange group, NYSE Euronext, are planning to close half the trading rooms at the New York Stock Exchange. It will also lower fees. Apparently, it is doing this to fend off competition from smaller rivals. Sure. I know the real truth.

The real truth is, mystical capitalism is starting to take off in America, and financial shamans and money mystics are replacing conventional traders. It had to happen sooner or later. There was no way that Wall Street could allow the Square Mile and Canary Wharf to gain a massive advantage by employing mystical workers.

Tatum Jones from merchant bank Dodger Coombes says, ‘American banks will love the mystics when they realize how amazing they are, but we are not worried here in Canary Wharf. The American banks still have a long way to go before they catch up with us.’