Friday 26 September 2008

Jim Chanos speaks of the evil ones

Jim Chanos - a top short-selling hedge fund manager and the big man at Kynikos Associates - has been speaking of the evil ones. He told me, 'There is a great evil in the financial markets. Some of the firms that have failed did not tell the truth about the risks they were facing. They misled everyone. Why did they do it? Oh, they had darkness in their hearts! Evil-doers do evil things. We all know this. We all know that the serpent is waiting for us. We've seen the rune stones. Things can only get worse. There will come a time when fire will fill the sky, and Satan's dark angels, diabolical demons, will rise from the bowels of the earth and devour us! O people, repent! It's not too late. I will change as well. I won't short any more. O Jesus, please believe me. Have mercy on me. I SHALL SHORT NO MORE!!!'

People familiar with the situation have said that Mr Chanos has gone totally insane. A bit like that priest in The Omen. But I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. He didn't mention Jack Pickles when I spoke to him, but it's pretty obvious that Jim has had dealings with the man. That's what happens when you work with Jack. Dark fears enter your heart, your mind, your very soul. You can't sleep at night. You hear the screams of tormented traders. Shadows follow you. There is a terrible smell everywhere you go. Your teeth chatter for no reason. Your body can shake uncontrollably. You feel alone, even in a crowded room. Strange thoughts enter your head. Strange desires.

I could go on, but I won't. You understand, don’t you? IF YOU EVER MEET JACK AND HE OFFERS YOU A JOB OR A DEAL OR ANYTHING, YOU MUST SAY NO.