Tuesday 14 October 2008

Barclays will not give in to the communists

Great news. Barclays ain't taking no cash from no taxpayers. Hallelujah.

I have been speaking to my very dear friend Bob Diamond. He told me, 'There is absolutely no way that mystical capitalism would be able to flourish at Barclays if we had to watch out all the time for the commissars. Everything we do. Everything we say. We would have to eat octopus three times a day and wear Russian shoes. You've seen Scarface? I'd kill a communist for fun, but for a green card I gonna carve him up real nice. You get the idea. Although it wouldn't be a green card. Maybe a pack of tarot cards. We'll have to look into that. But you get the idea.'

Yeah, I get the idea, Bob. You're making a stand, and I respect you for it. You're a great guy, Bob.