The wealth management division of Barclays has just been given permission by Ganesh the elephant god to open a private bank in India. Wonderful news!
I have been speaking to Ganesh, and he told me, 'I like the attitude of the people at Barclays. Tom Kalaris approached me with humility. He knows how powerful a god I am, and he knows the meaning of the word: respect. He's good people. I hope to have a very fruitful working relationship with him and his staff. It's a good job he didn't go to that *$^!£ Lakshmi. Otherwise he wouldn't have a pot to piss in now.'
Apologies to Lakshmi. I can in no way endorse what Ganesh said.