Wednesday 28 January 2009

Langbar International: Jack Pickles says he is not involved

Well, that son of a bitch Jack Pickles has just phoned me on my mobile. He says he's not involved. The fraud, I mean. Spanish police have arrested six men today. Something to do with a $600 million fraud on the London stock market. Something to do with Langbar International. Details are a bit sketchy. But why is Jack phoning me? Get this -

Hi, Mikey, it's Jack. (Don't call me Mikey. I ain't your fucking friend.) All right, chill out, man. I'm just phoning to tell you I'm not involved in the fraud with Langbar. (Of course you're not.) I'm not. Don't be all suspicious, Mikey. I'm sorry, Mr Fowke. (Don't be all suspicious? Are you having a laugh? I know you, remember?) Oh yes, you know me. You know me as well as you know yourself. You know me too well. But do your readers know how well you know me, eh? Do they know the truth? Look in the fucking mirror, man.

Dear reader, Jack is just shit stirring. Don't worry about it.