Tuesday 10 January 2012

John Zwaanstra is giving money away!

Yes, millions of dollars. Billions, maybe. Millions, probably. And I'm not the greedy type. But I want some. I deserve some millions and billions, don't I? Well, millions, anyway. After all the work I've done? Of course I do! Zwaanstra's had enough of Penta Investment Advisers. It's too much hassle. He wants to take it easy at his time of life, so he's calling it a day. Obviously, Penta won't need all that money now. About $2 billion. That's a lot! I just hope John gives me some. He better! I've never been an investor, but does that matter? No, I don't think so. Not if John, Mr Zwaanstra, is in a generous mood. And I know he's a very generous man. I see no reason why one or two million dollars shouldn't head in my direction. It's not as if I don't deserve it. Of course I deserve it! How long have I been a mystical capitalist? Too long! How much money have I made? Too little! It's a real shame. A tragedy, almost. Shit! The sacrifices! What was I doing, while everyone else was getting rich? I was making sure everything ran smoothly. I was making sure no bankers or hedgies got burnt up on the astral plane. (Burnt to a fucking crisp?! Imagine it! It could have happened. It would have done, without me.) Oh, I deserve a reward.