Wednesday, 28 November 2012

No one told me Bob Doll was retiring

I mean - 'But he's not retiring, Mikey! He's staying -' Yes, yes, I know he isn't retiring. However, he was going to retire, and no one - not one wretched financial soul - had the decency to tell me. 'Oh. Oh dear. Is it important?' Of course it is! I need to know what's happening, Voice. 'You do? Why?' Because I'm the world's foremost financial shaman! I'm supposed to be in tune with the whole goddamn cosmos! And that includes all the exciting financial news. 'Are you serious, man?' Well, not completely. / It would have been nice though. Someone could have sent me an email. One of my loyal readers, maybe. Bob himself could have got on the phone to me, to let me know. / 'So, he's staying at BlackRock then?' You're living in the past, Voice! Wake up! He's left BlackRock. He's going to be working at Nuveen Asset Management now as chief equity strategist and senior portfolio manager - if you can believe that. 'Okay. Well, no one told me, Mikey.' This is what I'm saying, man. No one tells us anything. 'It's jealousy.' I know. I'm not stupid. / Slags, the lot of them.

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And in other news: David Cameron wants to put up the price of alcohol. He wants to stop binge drinking. (I'm so glad he's concentrating on the important issues.) I think he needs to understand that people are only drinking so much because they're depressed at the way he and his mates are fucking up the country. Labour starting the fucking up. Now he wants to finish it. / Cameron is only prime minister because of his background and connections. He has absolutely no ability. / I feel so positive about the future of Great Britain. / My one consolation is that Nick Clegg isn't the prime minister. Imagine that! / This is another attack on the poor. Well, I think that's fair. After all, the poor have created all the trouble we're facing. (I'm being sarcastic.) / I'm not sure I'll ever vote again. Our politicians are corrupt, evil c**ts. And that's me being charitable.