Thursday 14 March 2013

What's this Holworthy Capital?

Oh, see if you can guess. See if you can guess what it is. Obviously, it's another new hedge fund. I mean, there aren't enough hedge funds in the world, are there? We need another one. And this is it. Holworthy Capital. I hope you're happy now. Mike Belbeck is the man in charge. He's the big cheese. / It's some sort of volatility arbitrage hedge fund. It will be launched next month. I can't wait! Well, at least he's launching it, eh? A lot of these hedge funds don't get launched, you know. They don't even have a name, half of them. Mike is starting off with $10 million. That's a bit low, isn't it? Never mind. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

Michael was the driving force behind the genesis and commercialization of trading equity volatility as a single "strikeless" asset in 1997, seven years prior to the CBOE trading the first VIX index futures contract. The conventions he meticulously forged over a decade and a half ago are still in use today. Michael advanced and refined equity "dispersion trading" through the use of "strikeless" volatility. He was the industry's (eh?) to enable the trading and capture of pure equity correlation in swap form. / 'Jesus, Mikey! You did all that?!' No, Voice, you idiot. That's Mike Belbeck, from his LinkedIn profile - and I corrected the spelling mistakes as well. What on earth is "strikelss"? And what is "stikeless"? Get a grip, Mr Belbeck! It's not very professional. / To be honest with you, dear reader, I don't know what "strikeless" is either. Mike's the expert. You'll have to ask him.

It goes without saying that ... 'You wish Mike all the best.' Yeah.

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I wish everyone all the best. (I'm a fucking humanitarian, after all.) Well, nearly everyone. I don't care what happens to the rotten slags. I don't care about the phoneys. You've got to have standards. Some people are beyond redemption.

I've been thinking: it's great getting back into music after a twenty-year break. Literature is intellectually satisfying, sure. But music satisfies your soul, man.

I've written two songs I could only have dreamed of writing when I was a kid. It's never too late. / What have you given up, dear reader? What have you been putting off? What have you been dreaming of? PULL YOUR FINGER OUT!!! You only have one life.