Thursday 25 April 2013

Alastair Gunn is taking over from Anthony Nutt at Jupiter

Yes, I know I've been writing about Jupiter Asset Management a lot lately, but so many exciting things have been happening at the firm. 'Really, Mikey?' No, not really, Voice. 'Oh.' What else am I supposed to write about?

Obviously, I pray for the fucking day when I won't have to write about finance at all. 'You're a dreamer, boy.' No I'm not. I wrote the chorus lyrics for my new song yesterday, and I have the concept for it now. 'Is it going to be a smash?' Wait and see, Voice.

But, anyway, this, er, Alastair Gunn character. He's taking over the Jupiter High Income fund from our Tony. Mr Gunn has twenty-seven years experience, believe it or not. There's some talk within the firm that they may rename the fund The Alastair Gunn Experience. Not a bad idea. It would make it seem a bit more sexy, I suppose.

Tony, as you already know, dear reader(s), is calling it a day. Yeah, he's getting out of the game for good. Lucky sod.

I mean, what a jammy git! Just as it's all falling apart - the world of finance, going down. Only the losers will be left behind, scrabbling around for a few pennies.

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This could be controversial, but I'm thinking that R.E.M. might be the greatest group after The Beatles. 'What?!' / The Stone Roses are cooler than R.E.M., and Radiohead are more experimental - maybe too experimental - but I think R.E.M. have a great imaginative power that puts them second only to The Beatles. / The Rolling Stones aren't artistic enough. Pink Floyd too boring. Led Zeppelin not subtle enough, too overblown. Nirvana, too harsh. The Doors are one of my favourites, but that doesn't mean anything. / And U2? No, not for me. Though they have great songs.

And I've only just started listening to R.E.M. I haven't heard most of their stuff.

Lunch!