Thursday 6 March 2014

Richard Plackett is having a rest for six months

Yeah, he just wants to take it easy for a while. Sabbatical or something. I don't blame him. It must be stressful managing the £2.1 billion UK Special Situations fund at BlackRock. / Unfortunately, no one really knows who Richard Plackett is. Not even Richie himself. 'What?!' You don't believe me? Well, take a look at his LinkedIn profile, son. This poor man knows nothing about himself. Nothing! He doesn't even have any friends or associates. No connections! 'Christ!' This is an appalling state of affairs. / Ah! Now I know, man ... Now I know why Richie wants six months off work. 'Tell us, Mikey!' He wants to find himself, don't he? 'Yes!' He wants to discover the real Richie Plackett. 'Before it's too late?' Let's not get morbid, Voice, please.

I better call him "Richard" though. "Richie" is too informal for someone who barely exists. Maybe we'll become close friends, and then - who knows? 'How are you going to get close to him, boss?' I'll take him for a spin after lunch in the No. 199. 'He'll like that.' I hope so. / You see, dear reader(s), in the old days, Richard would have gone into the desert (which I put an end to, after getting sick of it). However, I honestly believe my conceptual posts are an improvement. A post can be tailor-made for a particular fund manager. The manager can jump right into it and get a-ROUND for as long as he or she likes. 'For eternity!' Yeah, or just six months. / I've got a good feeling that six months from now we'll be calling Richard Plackett "Richie". 'In October, he can return to BlackRock a new man, the man he's always wanted to be.' Yeah, Voice. And he'll start making friends, and getting connections ... with his personal history, and his personality ... I can't wait! This is why I got into financial shamanism in the first place.