Wednesday 25 February 2015

FCA fines Aviva Investors £17.6 million for cherry picking!

Oh, it was always going to happen! I warned them, but they wouldn't listen. Apparently, the Aviva Investors boys and girls were wandering lazily through a cherry orchard picking cherries. Yes, it's a lovely thing to do, if you've got the time. But the fools should have been back in the office concentrating on their funds and their clients.

Euan Munro, chief executive of Aviva Investors, said in a statement: If a man is imperfectly made, physiologically speaking, if in the vast majority of cases he is coarse and stupid and deeply unhappy? Well, we must stop admiring one another! We must work, nothing more. Yes, we all die. However, perhaps a man has a hundred senses, and when he dies only the five known to us are destroyed and the remaining ninety-five are left alive. The human race progresses, perfecting its powers. Everything that is unattainable now will one day be near at hand and comprehensible, but we must work, we must help with all our strength those who seek to know what fate will bring. Meanwhile at Aviva Investors only a very few of us work. The vast majority of those fund managers whom I know seek for nothing, do nothing, and are at present incapable of hard work. They call themselves intellectuals, but they treat the peasants like animals, they invest only occasionally, they read nothing seriously, they do absolutely nothing, about finance they only talk, about art they understand little. They are all serious, they all have severe faces, they all talk about important things. However, at the same time, the vast majority of us, ninety-nine out of a hundred, live like savages, fighting and cursing at the slightest opportunity, eating filthily, drinking in the pub, sleeping in the dirt, in stuffiness, with fleas, stinks, smells, moral filth, and so on. And it's obvious that all our nice talk is only carried on to distract ourselves and others. Tell me, where are those crèches we hear so much of? And where are those reading-rooms? People only write blogs about them. They don't really exist. Only dirt and vulgarity really exist. I'm afraid, and I don't like serious faces. I don't like serious statements. I'll stop now.

Well, well ... a bit odd, eh? A bit confused. And very harsh, I think. I'm sure they're not all dirty and stinking. The Aviva Investors boys and girls only want to enjoy themselves. 'Boss, he doesn't mean it. Euan has to say something like that, for the media. But things will continue the same way.' I hope so, Voice. / Dear reader(s), I've said it before and I'll say it again, Aviva Investors is a refuge from the modern world.