Thursday 30 July 2015

Aaron Garvey needs to update his LinkedIn profile!

Oh, I can't believe this! / Aaron, you ain't at Davy Capital no more, son! Get a grip! [These people ...] 'What's the problem, boss?' Uh, this Aaron Garvey character, man. He's got a new job at Marinus Capital Advisors, you dig? 'Oh, right.' As a senior macro trader. He was a macro portfolio manager before, and now - 'And now he's a senior macro trader.' Yes. 'Well, it's no big deal, boss. I suppose Mr Garvey is busy at the moment.' Busy? Busy doing what?! 'Er ... getting ready. We don't even know if he's started at Marinus yet. He might need a new suit, for one thing.' [A new suit. He should have new suits coming out of his ears. He's a trader! Not a bum on the street.] Okay, Voice, we'll give him a bit more time. But if his LinkedIn profile isn't updated by Monday I'm going to have a word with him. A few words, probably. 'Ha! Why do you care?' It just drives me crazy, man, you know, inaccurate information on the internet. I hate that shit! 'What does Bloomberg say?' Oh, you're having a laugh, ain't ya? I'm not going to those Bloomberg wankers! 'Of course not. This person is connected to 0 board members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.' Shut up! I'm not in the mood.

...

'Er ... lunch, Mikey?' Not yet! / By the way, dear reader(s), Marinus Capital Advisors LLC, founded in 2010, over in America somewhere, is an asset management firm that seeks to deliver to its limited partners superior risk adjusted returns with low correlations to the broader equity and fixed income markets. And the firm manages $440 million in assets, roughly. / And Davy Capital? I don't know nothing about Davy Capital. Sorry. If you're so interested, Google it, yeah?

...

'Lunch?' Okay! Luxury egg sandwich, McCoy's crisps ... cheese and onion flavour (obviously, with the egg, can't have salt and vinegar), and a strawberry yoghurt, and a can of Coke(!!!). / 'Coke.' Yes, I know. I'm going to cut down on the Coke, man. I don't want to end up like Warren Buffett, do I? A billionaire!

'Music?' Music? I was watching Eric Clapton on YouTube last night, playing Sunshine of Your Love in concert, with bar chords, single notes, double-stops. No problem at all! Very smooth. / I had a go on my Telecaster afterwards. I almost got it, almost. Jumbled fingers! But some guys - like Noel Gallagher or the late, great Kurt Cobain - wouldn't even try. / One day at a time, eh?