Wednesday 30 September 2015

[No. 353] More things in heaven and earth ...

I see them all!

And YES(!) ... I can see!!![1], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[1], and YES(!) ... I can see!!![2], and ... with eyes that show suffering[1], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[2], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[1], and ... with eyes that show suffering[2], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![1], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[2], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[1], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![2], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![1], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[2], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[1], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![2], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[1], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[2], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[1], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[2], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[1], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[1], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[2], and only God can comfort me ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[2], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[1], and only God can comfort me ...[2], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![1], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[2], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![1], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![2], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![1], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![2], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[1], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![2], and YES(!) ... I can see!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[2], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[3], and ... with eyes that show suffering[3], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[3], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![3], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[3], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![3], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[3], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[3], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[3], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[3], and only God can comfort me ...[3], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[3], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![3], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![3], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[3], and

And YES(!) ... I can see!!![1], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[1], and YES(!) ... I can see!!![2], and ... with eyes that show suffering[1], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[2], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[1], and ... with eyes that show suffering[2], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![1], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[2], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[1], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![2], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![1], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[2], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[1], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![2], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[1], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[2], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[1], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[2], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[1], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[1], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[2], and only God can comfort me ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[2], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[1], and only God can comfort me ...[2], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![1], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[2], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![1], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![2], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![1], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![2], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[1], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![2], and YES(!) ... I can see!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[2], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[3], and ... with eyes that show suffering[3], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[3], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![3], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[3], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![3], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[3], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[3], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[3], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[3], and only God can comfort me ...[3], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[3], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![3], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![3], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[3], and

And YES(!) ... I can see!!![1], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[1], and YES(!) ... I can see!!![2], and ... with eyes that show suffering[1], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[2], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[1], and ... with eyes that show suffering[2], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![1], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[2], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[1], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![2], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![1], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[2], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[1], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![2], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[1], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[2], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[1], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[2], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[1], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[1], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[2], and only God can comfort me ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[2], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[1], and only God can comfort me ...[2], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![1], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[2], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![1], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![2], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![1], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![2], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[1], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![2], and YES(!) ... I can see!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[2], and I don't need dreams, man ... just, ah, super-awake is enough / and all the "things" come to me[3], and ... with eyes that show suffering[3], and what can YOU(!) YOU(!!) YOU(!!!) ... see, my darling young one?[3], and I'm on my own, man, knowing EVERYTHING as per usual / Oh, wonderful! / YES(!), it's a wonderful life![3], and I can hardly believe the shit ...[3], and you better go away if DEATH is what you want / I know you're not feeling anything / No passion at all![3], and a slow death here - ? Not really, just more aware, you dig?[3], and I struggle on, and on, and on ...[3], and the joy of being so HIGH and the pain of being so LOW ... / ... a gift or a curse?[3], and people with no souls gotta be with the soulless / and I can't help them, can't change their bad ways[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... uh, wishing my mind was GONE(!) beyond the THREE[3], and only God can comfort me ...[3], and smashing my head on the fucking wall never made as much sense as it does NOW(!)[3], and somehow ... I can't stop! Ha![3], and I got the Spiritual Aristocrat Blues, baby![3], and so sick I'm rolling on the floor with my hands to my face crying burning tears!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... shit got real[3], and

Hobson Barnes has joined Aspect Capital

Er ... 'I'll think you'll find, boss, that his name is Barnes Hobson.' Nonsense, Voice! And it's not a "he", it's an "it". 'What?!' It's an "it". 'Eh? What is?!' Hobson Barnes. 'A wild animal, you're saying? Or maybe some monster from your subconscious, like the other night?' No, Hobson Barnes is a firm. This is another one of those mergers. 'Don't be ridiculous, Mikey! I'm telling you that Barnes Hobson is a man. I've seen his LinkedIn profile. He's real! He has over five hundred connections and -' Oh, and that makes him real, does it? Having over five hundred connections on LinkedIn? Ha! Son, you need to get out more. Hardly anyone is "real" on LinkedIn, yeah? Especially not the lost souls with more than five hundred connections. / Now, piss off!

I'm sorry, dear reader(s), I'm really not in the mood for The Voice today. Christ! Just another idiot giving me grief. What have I done to deserve it? Bad karma? I don't know.

Oh, Aspect Capital. The firm has philosophy. I love it when a firm has philosophy. See if you can dig this: Aspect's investment philosophy has remained consistent since the company's inception and focuses on a mystical approach to investment driven by Aspect's belief that market prices are not random but display persistent, mystically measurable and predictable behaviour and idiosyncrasies. The most obvious of these effects is the propensity of market prices to display serial auto-correlation (i.e. to trend) as a result of a range of supernatural realities. Through sophisticated shamanic research and a disciplined approach, these effects can be successfully identified and profitably exploited. / So, not a bad bunch of lads, then. 'And lasses, Mikey.' Oh, you're back, Voice. There is a girl, actually, on the philosophy page of their website. They've been very clever though. You can only get a vague idea of what she's like through a window. 'Oh, that's clever!' Yes. If you want a better look, you'll have to visit their office. And that's when they'll sell you something, I suppose. 'Bastards!' Ha!

...

Well, well ... / Anyway, that's enough of that. Is there anything else? 'Music!' Music? I'm listening to Elliott Smith. Most of his songs are pretty weak (in my opinion) but his best songs are brilliant: Between the Bars, Miss Misery, Talking to Mary, Go By, Clementine, Alphabet Town. / Speaking of weak songs, I've decided to scrap my Gilly, Gilly. That leaves me with three "great" songs plus two pieces of music which might become great songs with the right lyrics. I want to get to six complete songs before Christmas. It's a slow process, but I'm trying to write to the highest standards, you dig? (And I've been concentrating on improving my guitar playing this last year and a half, remember.) / If you're a recording artist, weak songs are unavoidable. However, if I decide to be a writer for others my high standards must be maintained.

Lunch? Luxury egg sandwich from the petrol station. Tell me I'm not living in style!

Tuesday 29 September 2015

Stephen Mohan? IFDS?

Oh, Jesus Christ! Really? / I don't know what's going on, and I'm a bit depressed today, but I'm going to try my best to make some sense out of this ... "story". 'Ha!' Apparently, there is a man. They call him Stephen Mohan. And there's a company, too. They call it IFDS. Something to do with platforms, I imagine. I don't actually know. 'A train company, boss?' That's what I thought at first, Voice. I genuinely thought that Stephen may be one of the guards on the platform, you know? 'Yeah. It makes sense.' Well, no ... because this is a finance blog, and Stephen is a man who works in finance ... ??? / Anyway, LinkedIn is always a big help in situations like this: Bored level leader, delivering major improvements - strategic, operational, commercial and governance. Engineering ... 'Er ... so he's fixing the trains?' That's a very skilled job. Fixing the platforms, maybe. I'm not sure. 'Why is he bored? You said he's bored.' Well, wouldn't you be? Our Stephen wants a job in finance. He bloody hates train stations, man!

Let me see, the firm ... IFDS? We are a leading provider of investor and policyholder outsourcing solutions to the European domestic, cross border, liquidity and equity markets. 'Mikey, that's not train stations.' No. No, it's, er, so confusing. International Financial Data Services. They have solutions for fund managers and platform providers. 'So it is finance, then?' I suppose so, Voice. / Oh God. I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I regret starting this post. 'Ha!' I don't understand what Mr Mohan is mixed up in, and I have no desire to find out. I had a pretty rough night, last night. 'Oh.' I didn't get much sleep. And I can't concentrate now. I've got a cheese sandwich for lunch. This afternoon, I might try to write the lyrics for my new tune. / Apologies to our Stephen. I mean, it's his big moment, ain't it? He gets a new job as, er ... 'It says chief operating officer here, boss.' Where? 'Here.' Okay. Yeah, reader(s), apparently he's a COO. It sounds quite important. Very important role, no doubt! Mr Mohan deserves a better write-up than this. But I am very tired, and very depressed. I think I may be coming down, down already, from the manic high of Sunday, getting that new piece of music, you dig? And so I'm in a manic low until this afternoon, hopefully, when I may be high again, like a fucking rollercoaster, or a kite against the moon, just touching the moon ... for crying out loud! Enough?!

...

Well, that's enough, my friend(s). Come back tomorrow, if you like this sort of thing. / Laters.

Monday 28 September 2015

Miguel Fidalgo? Triarii Capital Management?

Only a little bit of finance today, dear reader(s). 'Oh no!' (Frankly, I've got different fish to fry. I mean, write about.) So, let's get it over with, quickly.

This "Miguel Fidalgo" character was a managing director at Baupost Group. Now, he's got the idea in his head that he wouldn't mind running his own hedge fund. 'These people will never change, boss.' So, er ... Triarii Capital. That's what it's called. Something to do with Roman soldiers. 'Roman soldiers?!' I don't know, Voice. They live in a world of their own, these hedgies. / The fund will be launched next year, and in Boston - of all places. Our Miguel hopes he will start trading with $300 million. 'Ha! If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.' He might do it, man. Give him a chance!

...

Well, well ... / Anything else? Oh, big time. You bet your ass something else, dear reader(s)!!! Music? Dreams? 'Eh? Dreams?!' Listen. I wrote a cool piece of music yesterday for a new ballad. It could give me my fourth "great" song (with the right lyrics). But the interesting thing is, the main melody of the song actually came to me in a dream the night before. 'Wow!' Yeah. I woke up, sang it into my laptop, and then went back to sleep. And in the morning it only took me five minutes to find the right chords for it - which fit perfectly, by the way (key of C). I changed the melody, slightly, for the chorus. Then I spent a couple of hours playing it on my guitar and thinking about the structure. By lunchtime I had the final version, and maybe even a title, Don't Say. (From the "dummy" lyric. I might change it.) / So ... dreaming a song, eh?! And a great song! What's not to like? 'It's as if someone gave you a winning lottery ticket, boss.' Yeah, in a fucking dream, man!

However, the least said about the dream the better ... 'Why? Oh go on, Mikey. Tell us!' It was mental, Voice. Utterly mental. I think the dream had a message though. 'Really?' Yes. / You see, I dreamt I was in a room full of Nazi memorabilia. It was everywhere! All over the walls and shelves. You know, swastikas and daggers and that. 'Christ!' But also demon masks or heads or something. 'Lovely! [Er, nurse!]' Yeah. Anyway, this massive figure wearing a cloak started to walk towards me. 'What?!' And I had a gun in my hand, so ... I started shooting at it, the figure. 'As you do. / Unbelievable! / What about the music?' The music was playing while all this was going on. 'Ha!' I woke up thinking: What the fuck?! 'Yes, I can imagine! / And what about the message?' Well, I think the message is, er ... that I (all of us, actually) must fight evil and negativity. I mean, not give in to that shit, you dig? 'Okay.' It was a message from God, as far as I'm concerned. And the great melody was His gift to me - maybe to stop me forgetting the dream.

...

Well, well ... / I'm hungry. What's for lunch?

Thursday 24 September 2015

I hope David Tepper is coming to England soon ...

Honestly! Because he can stay at my house if he likes, and he can smash the place to shit with a hammer if he likes.

Then I'll get him to buy me something decent, a penthouse. That's only fair. I don't mind David having his fun, but it's going to cost him.

[I mentioned this years ago. His new house in the Hamptons. But it's finished now. And Dave has his revenge. Wonderful!]

Well, that's the last of the "news", my friend(s). Pub tomorrow, maybe. I didn't go last week. I think it's going to be sunny. A nice walk along the river. A couple of Stellas. A bag of crisps, or ... triple-cooked chips. (I don't know. I've got to watch my weight.)

Oh, my Eric Clapton DVD has arrived. The Hyde Park concert. It's really brilliant, man. Awesome playing by our Eric. (I got a second-hand copy for only £2.26, and it's in perfect condition!) / You know, if a singer/songwriter could write as well as Lennon and McCartney (yeah, combined) and play guitar as well as Clapton, everyone else could go home ... I mean, fuck 'em! Game over, you dig?

Anyway, later(s), er ... alligator(s)! Ha!

[No. 352] Peter Toogood ain't too good to be true

We love him! But he needs to get to grips with the DIZZY(!) life, yeah?

And it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[1], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![1], and it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[2], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![1], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![2], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[1], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![2], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[1], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[2], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![1], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[2], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[1], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![1], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[2], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![2], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![1], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[2], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[1], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![2], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[1], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[2], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[1], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[2], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[1], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[2], and it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[3], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[2], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![3], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![3], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[3], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[3], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![3], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![3], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[3], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![3], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[3], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[3], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[3], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[3], and

And it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[1], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![1], and it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[2], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![1], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![2], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[1], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![2], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[1], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[2], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![1], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[2], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[1], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![1], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[2], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![2], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![1], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[2], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[1], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![2], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[1], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[2], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[1], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[2], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[1], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[2], and it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[3], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[2], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![3], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![3], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[3], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[3], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![3], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![3], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[3], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![3], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[3], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[3], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[3], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[3], and

And it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[1], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![1], and it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[2], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![1], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![2], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[1], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![2], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[1], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[2], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![1], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[2], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[1], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![1], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[2], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![2], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![1], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[2], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[1], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![2], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[1], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[2], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[1], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[2], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[1], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[2], and it's a bad idea, oh, living in the past ... / The desert is so dead to us now[3], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[2], and astral/physical ... it don't matter![3], and our Pete needs to bring his funds here, his clients here / Let's get DIZZY(!), man!!![3], and, yes, I miss Ganesh the elephant god, sure I do ... but life goes on[3], and it's when we're a-ROUND ... that's how we feel the love these days ... not under the desert sun[3], and the blood and fire? Always too messy![3], and some people are too SQUARE(!) even to get started ... / You've got to pity them, ain't ya?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Don't wanna stop ... baby, I can't stop![3], and it grips you, the fever of senseless words ...[3], and I shut down the desert, ah, old school shamanism / I AM A REVOLUTIONARY!!![3], and come with me, kook(s)! / 'We're here, boss!'[3], and our Pete? Ha! (Almost forgot about him) / Come on, Pete, we won't bite you, son[3], and I gotta keep rollin', you dig? / I'm a steady rollin' man[3], and I am here for the whole of eternity / How about YOU(!)?[3], and

Peter Toogood to be true - ?

Do you know of Peter Toogood at all, dear reader(s)? He's the investment director at City Financial ...

We're independent. We're not owned by a bank. We're not owned by an insurance company. We've deliberately designed a nimble company to bring to advisers and investors a straightforward series of funds managed by individuals who we believe are masters of reality.

'Oh dear.' What, Voice? 'They seem a bit defensive.' I know! Who said they weren't independent? Who said they were owned by a bank or insurance company? 'Crazy!' They should chill out a bit. 'They're taking this finance stuff too seriously, boss.' Of course they are. They should realize that nobody cares.

But back to Peter Toogood. Is our Pete too good to be true? Well, this is what he told Fundweb recently: "In the old days you had EVERYTHING to play with. I remember going through the astral desert and just thinking: 'I can't believe how beautiful everything is'. You were chasing rainbows and the ghosts of dead financiers, and you were being touched by the trunk of Ganesh. And those experiences gave so much colour to our funds back on earth, you dig? I actually knew what asset managers were doing EVERYWHERE. I saw with astral eyes! And they were so different in how they ran money, with flowers in their hair. Space and time just didn't matter! And the way they thought about investing was so cosmic." Interesting, eh? I don't have the link, reader(s), but it's on the Fundweb site somewhere.

I'll give you my verdict after lunch. 'No. 352, Mikey?' You bet your ass No. 352, man! It's the new way, the conceptual way. We don't need no astral desert now.

...

Anything else? Music? I'm feeling a bit better about my guitar "skills" ... such as they are. I was reading yesterday that John Lennon had to do over a hundred takes of Working Class Hero, and even then two takes had to be edited together to get the final version. / Also, I've been thinking that most professional musicians these days record vocals and guitar (and other instruments) separately. I can't do that at home with my laptop and Audacity software, but maybe I should consider going to a proper studio - ? It might be too expensive though. I'd better stick with the laptop for the time being.

Wednesday 23 September 2015

[No. 351] Dead Pig Blues

I ain't got no dead pig. That's all right. I still got my guitar. Look out now!

And have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[1], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[2], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![1], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![2], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[1], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![2], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[1], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[2], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[1], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[2], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[1], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[1], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[2], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[2], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[1], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[2], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[1], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[2], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[1], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[2], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[1], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[1], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[2], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[2], and ... Hello, space people![1], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![2], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[1], and ... Hello, space people![2], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[1], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[3], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[2], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![3], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![3], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[3], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[3], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[3], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[3], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[3], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[3], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[3], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[3], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[3], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[3], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[3], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![3], and ... Hello, space people![3], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[3], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[3], and

And have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[1], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[2], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![1], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![2], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[1], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![2], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[1], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[2], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[1], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[2], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[1], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[1], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[2], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[2], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[1], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[2], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[1], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[2], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[1], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[2], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[1], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[1], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[2], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[2], and ... Hello, space people![1], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![2], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[1], and ... Hello, space people![2], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[1], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[3], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[2], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![3], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![3], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[3], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[3], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[3], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[3], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[3], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[3], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[3], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[3], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[3], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[3], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[3], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![3], and ... Hello, space people![3], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[3], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[3], and

And have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[1], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[2], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![1], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![2], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[1], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![2], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[1], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[2], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[1], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[2], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[1], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[1], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[2], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[2], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[1], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[2], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[1], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[2], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[1], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[2], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[1], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[1], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[2], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![1], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[2], and ... Hello, space people![1], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![2], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[1], and ... Hello, space people![2], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[1], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[2], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig so much that you tremble in pain?[3], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[2], and I got the DEAD PIG BLUES, man![3], and to get lost a-ROUND here NOW(!) is all I can do / oh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND!!![3], and with screams, squeals ... "I gave you seven piglets, and now you want to give them back!"[3], and I know, yes, it's a SHAME(!) and a SIN(!)[3], and ... oh, man, I wish I had a dead pig to call my own / Some guys have all the luck ...[3], and BOOM(!) BOOM(!) when you feel this bad, you dig?[3], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig? / Yes, and you know you can't leave it alone[3], and here I am, spinning so BLUE[3], and DIZZY(!) this bad ... feels so good, with the electric BUZZ(!) in my ears! / I forget, I forget ...[3], and I'm gonna shoot it down ... so it knows it's dead[3], and whisky and dead pigs almost wrecked my life ...[3], and ... escape? NO FARMS! 'Where?!' I want to go ... the land of California(?) ... sweet home Chicago(?)[3], and have YOU(!) ... ever loved a dead pig that belonged to someone else?[3], and suitcase in my hand, oh, I'm looking at the sky ... / ABDUCT ME!!![3], and ... Hello, space people![3], and how many times can you ... ? On this earth, in vain ... ? / Baby, the thrill is gone[3], and I got the key to the cosmos, so ...[3], and

Michael Queen has launched a new hedge fund!

Well, well ... / Mickey Queen, to his friends, apparently. I've never heard of him, so I'll call him Mr Queen, if you don't mind, dear reader(s). 'I've heard of him, boss.' Really? 'Yes. Actually, I broke into his office with a sponge and a rusty spanner. He said, "I know you, and you cannot sing." I said, "That's nothing, you should hear me play piano." Ha!' Okay. Very amusing, Voice. [Idiot!]

Sorry about The Voice, Mr Queen, if you're reading this. I'm sure you know how difficult it is to find the right staff these days. / Anyway, Aquilys Investment Management. Water and waste, and that. Long, and, er ... short. That's the firm, I suppose. I tried going to Bloomberg for more information. 'Ha!' Yeah. Unfortunately, all I got was ... Aquilys Investment Management Ltd does not have any Key Executives recorded. 'Jesus! Wankers, those Bloomberg ...' Yeah. Oh, and ... No transactions available in the past 12 months. 'Brilliant! About as useful as a chocolate teapot.' About as useful as you, Voice.

Mr Queen used to be the chief executive of 3i Group. '3i Group?' They focus on mid-market private equity, infrastructure and debt management operating across Europe, Asia and North America. 'Okay. Nice.'

Well ... it goes without saying, reader(s), that I wish our Mickey all the best with his new venture. 'Good luck, Mickey!' Shut up, man! 'I could be his eighteenth pale descendant, for all you know.' Please, be quiet. Go away.

...

Has he gone? / Music? I'm listening to The Smiths. It's hard to rate Johnny Marr as a guitarist because he avoids all the cliches with his playing. (For the record, I love all the cliches - the bends, vibrato, blues rock moves, you dig?) But he's great, definitely. [Maybe.]

I'm waiting for an Eric Clapton DVD. I hope it arrives today. Hyde Park concert in the Nineties. I've seen clips of it on YouTube. Eric loves the cliches, too!

Lunch? Cheese sandwich. No surprises. / Laters.

Tuesday 22 September 2015

The UK is just like a dead pig

And I thought Caligula was a sick bastard. / Were you surprised or shocked by the news yesterday, dear reader(s)? I can't say I was. It's to be expected. They're all at it! Except Jeremy Corbyn, of course. The worst thing he has ever done is refuse to sing some absurd song or ... not wear a tie. Hardly the last days of Rome ...

However, it's the country I'm worried about, not the corpses of farm animals. Great Britain is the real dead pig. I've told you more than once that the economy isn't improving, and I still believe it. The media is lying to us. And I don't care about no statistics, you dig? I got eyes, man! I can see what's happening.

Oh, let me tell you ... social breakdown, massive debt that keeps growing, food banks, "welfare" suicides, the super-rich speeding away from the rest of us in their keyed Aston Martins ... / I got a bad, bad feeling this won't end well.

It all comes from the government. And the government comes from a selfish or brainwashed population. I can't decide which. (It's probably a combination of the two.) / I suppose it's happening all over the Western world. I mean, fifty million Americans are on food stamps. And what's the American national debt now? Ha! Tell me a collapse ain't coming, man!

For intelligent people there are only two possibilities. Either we run away, find caves to live in ... or we get really wild, let it all hang out. The problems can't be fixed. The end is coming. So let's party, yeah? Come on!

Gimme me all your loving, all your dead pigs, too! I'll take everything. I don't care no more BECAUSE(!) ... I am a free man in hell!!! Blood and fire, the naked bodies, alive and dead, who can tell? Red eyes that have seen it all!

And the rain will come.

Monday 21 September 2015

Top entrepreneurs are threatening to leave the UK if the Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn becomes prime minister

They are unwilling to adapt to the spirit of our revolution. We don't want them! We don't need them! - Fidel Castro

Well, well ... / So? So what?! Who cares?! Let them leave! / The UK is a massive market. Are entrepreneurs really saying they don't want to be a part of it? 'It's just something this sort always say, boss. I'm sure most of them will stay.' Ha!

Oh, it's crazy, man! Jeremy Corbyn has only been leader one week and ALREADY(!) ... everyone is shitting their pants, or pissing them. It's five years until the next election. Chill out, everyone! Anything could happen. / I thought entrepreneurs and business types were supposed to be tough? Like, er ... Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood. / 'But you're going to Malibu, ain't ya, Mikey?' When I'm a songwriter, Voice? Maybe. But not to escape taxes. 'No?' No, of course not. I want the glamorous lifestyle, like, er ... Dudley Moore in "10". 'He lived in Beverly Hills.' Well, his songwriting partner had a house on the beach in Malibu, man. 'Oh.' Although I might consider Beverly Hills. 'Okay.' I really haven't decided yet, Voice.

[At the rate I'm going, I'm more likely to end up like Nick Nolte in Down and Out in Beverly Hills. 'That tramp? Christ!' He was good on the piano.]

...

Anything else? No. NOTHING ELSE!!! I'm still thinking about the entrepreneurs. Those bastards! / Business isn't everything. Money isn't everything. One billion years from now, will there even being any businesses? You've got to think BIG(!), dear reader(s). Last night, I was wondering what was happening all a-ROUND the cosmos, you dig? Every single part of it. I was eating my dinner and thinking: Somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away, an alien is eating his dinner at this very moment. / And I hope he's not a prick, you know? I mean, I hope he's got a bit more going on in his life than "business" and "money". / Rant over.

Lunch? I haven't been to the shop yet. I don't know what I'm having. 'It's either going to be a cheese or an egg sandwich, reader(s).' Yeah. Cheese or egg, man. Are YOU(!) happy now?!

Thursday 17 September 2015

Jeremy Church has left Fidelity

Well, well ... / Jez was co-manager of the £800 million Fidelity Global Inflation Linked Bond fund. (Co-manager Andrew Weir has taken over the whole fund. By himself, like. 'Brave man!' Rather him than me ...) I don't know what Jez will do now. If he's got any sense he'll get out of finance and do something more interesting. 'Mikey, I've heard The Worzels are looking for a new bass player.' Well, maybe he'll do that, then, Voice. 'I hope so.' So do I. Anything is better than working in finance.

...

So, er ... what about the other Jez? 'What other Jez?!' Jeremy Corbyn. 'Oh.' I suppose he's had a good week, dear reader(s). I mean, the Red Tories haven't got rid of him yet. / I think it was a smart move our Jezza wearing that awful suit at PMQs yesterday. 'Really?' Yes. He looked like a common man, one of the common people - with a flat above a chip shop, you know? Whereas Cameron looked like someone who spends too much of his time studying sculpture at St. Martin's College. 'Eh?! He's not a Greek girl! / I thought Cameron looked like an upmarket estate agent, myself.' Oh, wonderful! Whatever.

...

The end of another week, eh? I can't say I'm upset about it. 'Pub tomorrow?' Maybe. If it's not raining. / Laters.

[No. 350] Who is Burton Weinstein?

By the time this ends, we will know who Burton Weinstein is. Unfortunately, this will never end.

And I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![1], and it ain't easy[1], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![2], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[1], and it ain't easy[2], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[1], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[2], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[1], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[2], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[1], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[2], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[1], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[2], and - under the sun?[1], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[2], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![1], and - under the sun?[2], and ... speak, please![1], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![2], and there have been so many funds ...[1], and ... speak, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[1], and there have been so many funds ...[2], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[2], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[1], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![2], and we don't need no finance, man[1], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[2], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![1], and we don't need no finance, man[2], and ... ha![1], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![2], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![3], and ... ha![2], and it ain't easy[3], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[3], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[3], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[3], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[3], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[3], and - under the sun?[3], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![3], and ... speak, please![3], and there have been so many funds ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[3], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![3], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[3], and we don't need no finance, man[3], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![3], and ... ha![3], and

And I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![1], and it ain't easy[1], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![2], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[1], and it ain't easy[2], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[1], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[2], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[1], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[2], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[1], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[2], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[1], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[2], and - under the sun?[1], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[2], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![1], and - under the sun?[2], and ... speak, please![1], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![2], and there have been so many funds ...[1], and ... speak, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[1], and there have been so many funds ...[2], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[2], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[1], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![2], and we don't need no finance, man[1], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[2], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![1], and we don't need no finance, man[2], and ... ha![1], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![2], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![3], and ... ha![2], and it ain't easy[3], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[3], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[3], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[3], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[3], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[3], and - under the sun?[3], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![3], and ... speak, please![3], and there have been so many funds ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[3], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![3], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[3], and we don't need no finance, man[3], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![3], and ... ha![3], and

And I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![1], and it ain't easy[1], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![2], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[1], and it ain't easy[2], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[1], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[2], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[1], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[2], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[1], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[2], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[1], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[2], and - under the sun?[1], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[2], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![1], and - under the sun?[2], and ... speak, please![1], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![2], and there have been so many funds ...[1], and ... speak, please![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[1], and there have been so many funds ...[2], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[2], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[1], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![2], and we don't need no finance, man[1], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[2], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![1], and we don't need no finance, man[2], and ... ha![1], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![2], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... ha![3], and ... ha![2], and it ain't easy[3], and I would like to tell YOU(!) ... that our Burton is the founder of Cedarview Capital / Alas, I cannot tell you that[3], and this ... ? Is there no END(!) to it?[3], and I would like to tell you a lot of things ... / uh, do we have all the time in the cosmos?[3], and knowledge is the cause of much misery[3], and a-ROUND here ... you should know by now, my friend(s), reader(s), spinner(s) ... EVERYTHING(!!!)[3], and - under the sun?[3], and Mr Weinstein is launching a new fund / Oh, tell me, what does it mean?![3], and ... speak, please![3], and there have been so many funds ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / No escape, no exit, for the souls with high consciousness ness nesses[3], and who puts the "fun" into funds? Er ... NO ONE!!![3], and here ... I am, and there ... YOU(!) are / Yes, we're enjoying ourselves[3], and we don't need no finance, man[3], and the Aviva Investors boys and girls say: Let Schroders take the funds!!![3], and ... ha![3], and

The Cedarview Equity Opportunities fund - ?

You know what they say at Cedarview Capital Management, don't you, dear reader(s)? They say: Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. 'Ha!' What's the problem, Voice? 'Boss, most successful people hate themselves, hate what they do, hate the whole world, and just want to lose themselves in drink and drugs.' Yeah, right. A bit negative, ain't it? 'It's the truth, man!' Whatever.

Someone got out of the wrong side of the astral plane this morning, I think. Never mind. Let's move on. Cedarview Capital Management?

Cedarview Capital Management, LP is a registered investment advisor established in August 2004 as an alternative, slightly kooky asset management firm, investing within the bank debt, high yield, distressed securities and equity markets. Our mission is to achieve consistent, double digit returns with limited risk to our investors. Cedarview also runs a managed account platform that was established in December 2008 focused on long only accounts in the high yield bond and loan space.

Well, well ... it seems okay. Over in New York. / So, what's the Cedarview Equity Opportunities fund? Er ... I don't have a quote, dear reader(s), but I can tell you that it's going to be a long/short equity fund. It hasn't been launched yet. It will be launched pretty soon. 'Any day now, eh?' They will launch it, Voice. 'Ha!' I don't know what your problem is, son.

...

Anything else? 'Music?' All right, music. Guitar! 'Thank God!' I might make another Improv thing for YouTube soon because my lead playing has improved a lot in the last month since the last one. 'Great!' And that's not just down to practice. 'No?' It's mostly down to increased knowledge of scales, the fretboard, and music theory, you dig? Guys like Page* and Hendrix* (on the astral plane?) rely on their ear. Posters on the internet forums though say that they're sloppy live and often play out of key. The reason? Well, your ear is always going to let you down. 'Oh no.' However, knowledge will never let you down BECAUSE(!) ... you either know something or you don't, man. Sermon over.


*[Clapton is God, anyway.]

Wednesday 16 September 2015

[No. 349] Working class hero

Toppermost of the poppermost!

And as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![1], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[1], and as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![2], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[1], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[2], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![1], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[2], and I get a-ROUND ...[1], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![1], and I get a-ROUND ...[2], and don't call me FOXY!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![2], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[1], and don't call me FOXY!!![2], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[1], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[2], and get it in your head! / You're not free[1], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[2], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![1], and get it in your head! / You're not free[2], and if you flinch, you're a coward[1], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![2], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[1], and if you flinch, you're a coward[2], and class war, what is it good for?[1], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[2], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[1], and class war, what is it good for?[2], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[1], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[2], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![1], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[2], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[1], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![2], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![1], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[2], and as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![3], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![2], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[3], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[3], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![3], and I get a-ROUND ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![3], and don't call me FOXY!!![3], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[3], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[3], and get it in your head! / You're not free[3], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![3], and if you flinch, you're a coward[3], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[3], and class war, what is it good for?[3], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[3], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[3], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![3], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[3], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![3], and

And as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![1], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[1], and as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![2], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[1], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[2], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![1], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[2], and I get a-ROUND ...[1], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![1], and I get a-ROUND ...[2], and don't call me FOXY!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![2], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[1], and don't call me FOXY!!![2], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[1], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[2], and get it in your head! / You're not free[1], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[2], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![1], and get it in your head! / You're not free[2], and if you flinch, you're a coward[1], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![2], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[1], and if you flinch, you're a coward[2], and class war, what is it good for?[1], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[2], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[1], and class war, what is it good for?[2], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[1], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[2], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![1], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[2], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[1], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![2], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![1], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[2], and as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![3], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![2], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[3], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[3], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![3], and I get a-ROUND ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![3], and don't call me FOXY!!![3], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[3], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[3], and get it in your head! / You're not free[3], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![3], and if you flinch, you're a coward[3], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[3], and class war, what is it good for?[3], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[3], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[3], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![3], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[3], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![3], and

And as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![1], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[1], and as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![2], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[1], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[2], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![1], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[2], and I get a-ROUND ...[1], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![1], and I get a-ROUND ...[2], and don't call me FOXY!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![2], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[1], and don't call me FOXY!!![2], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[1], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[2], and get it in your head! / You're not free[1], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[2], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![1], and get it in your head! / You're not free[2], and if you flinch, you're a coward[1], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![2], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[1], and if you flinch, you're a coward[2], and class war, what is it good for?[1], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[2], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[1], and class war, what is it good for?[2], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[1], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[2], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![1], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[2], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[1], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![2], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![1], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[2], and as soon as you're born they make you feel small ... but I'm BIG!!![3], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![2], and do YOU(!) ... want to be like me?[3], and I haven't got the house on the hill yet ... / Maybe I'll choose the house on the beach[3], and I don't know if you're clever or classless / but I know you're not beyond the THREE, man![3], and I get a-ROUND ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... a working class hero is something to be![3], and don't call me FOXY!!![3], and if you sneer, you're a traitor[3], and I've been working for NOTHING / Oh, "they" had better give me what I really own[3], and get it in your head! / You're not free[3], and YOU(!) ... just gimme some truth, please![3], and if you flinch, you're a coward[3], and it's so difficult to concentrate on breaking out of the prison of daily life, you dig?[3], and class war, what is it good for?[3], and ... RELIGION(?) and SEX(?)[3], and TV? /... / Well, er ... Bergerac, Minder, Kojak ... you can see the attraction[3], and ... / BUT(!) I don't want no distractions! / Ah, all I need is three chords and the TRUTH!!![3], and I try to tell, but idiots won't listen[3], and at least here ... I can't be touched by the dirt and the scum / Yes, here ... I will always be, me![3], and

Does anyone know who Gary Dale is?

Well, don't worry, reader(s). I think I have a rough idea. My personal view is that Gary is an intermediary sales type at Investec. 'Oh, he was, boss.' Yes, I know, Voice. He's going to Old Mutual Wealth now. Is it my fault that our Gary hasn't updated his LinkedIn profile? 'No. / In all the excitement our Gary must have forgot to do it.' Ha! Yes, but let's forget ... please, let us forget about Gary Dale. 'Oh.' I don't actually need to know who Gary Dale is. It's Scott Goodsir I'm interested in. 'Who on earth is Scott Goodsir?!' Exactly!

I suppose our Scott imagines he is Gary's new master at Old Mutual Wealth. 'Christ!' I suppose that's the sort of trip he is on. 'It will all end in tears.' Of course it will! But Scott is happy now. Scott is looking forward now. He truly believes that he is a good sir. Ha!

Why is there so much misery in the world? Things need to change. We can't go on like this! 'You have the passion to change things, Mikey!' Maybe. / I don't know. I just wish I could fly away. Into the sky, and beyond!

[One more thing about Gary Dale. I like the picture of him on LinkedIn. He has a nice, cheerful face, you know? His hair is a bit like Beaker's from the Muppets, but that's not a serious problem.]

Monday 14 September 2015

Isn't Mike Corcell hungry?

Has RWC Partners' Mike Corcell lost the hunger? 'Oh no, boss! Doesn't Mr Corcell want to manage funds no more? Has he fallen out of love with finance?' No, Voice. I mean, isn't he ... hungry? Doesn't he want to bite and eat people any more? 'Oh.' Because I've just been reading this Fundweb article about RWC's "Everest" team. It seems they're still around. You know, healthy and that. Alive! 'What's going on, boss?!' I don't know, man.

It's a miracle ... ?! No, I don't know, dear reader(s). / Corcell is a very unpredictable guy. Maybe he doesn't like the way they taste. Maybe he's become a vegetarian like me. 'Maybe RWC has tamed him. Maybe Mike's out of the cage now, a free man!' And managing his funds in a calm, civilized manner, I suppose? Ha! I can't see it myself.

These are scary times ... / [And I'm in a confused state.] The truth is, I don't even know where Mike is at the moment. 'Shit! You're scaring me, boss! And them ...' Is he in North Carolina? Is he in London? Is he in Miami? 'Mikey, is he loose on Bodmin Moor?' Tearing sheep apart? I don't know! 'Christ! Save us!' / We just don't know.

Look under your desk, dear reader(s)!!! 'Ha!' Ha! Oh, that had them going, Voice. Look at them!

...

Corcell, Corcell ... 'Don't say his name three times!' You're right. How foolish! / Uh, I want to take my mind off it, the horror. / Music? Guitar? I'm wondering if it makes sense to spend so much time on lead playing when I only need rhythm for my demo. The thing is, I want to be a "decent" guitarist, man. Not just a strummer like Lennon or Marley, or Dylan or Costello, you dig? It's taking forever though, and I have classic songs that are begging me to record them. 'Begging you, Mikey?' You know what I mean, Voice. / I can hear them in my head, reader(s), just like the Voice.

Laters. Wednesday, maybe.

Jordan Matusow is joining Monomoy Capital Partners

Jez we can! 'Yippee!' Oh, congratulations to Jeremy Corbyn! / I think it might have been a mistake though, going straight to the pub after winning to sing that Red Flag song. I mean, it's like something Wolfie Smith would do. 'Foxy.' Eh? 'It's Foxy Smith, boss.' It's Wolfie Smith, you idiot! / Music? I’m listening to John Lennon's Power to the People on repeat. 'Great!' A million workers workin' for nothing, you'd better give them what they really own ...

Anyway, finance ... sadly. Yes, finance. / Jordan Matusow is joining Monomoy Capital Partners. He might even be there already. Who knows? 'Who cares, boss?!' Oh, don't be like that, Voice. 'But it's Monday morning. Let's talk some more about The Great Corbyn.' Later. / Yes, Jordan used to be at Nomura. He knows a lot about distressed debt, which will come in handy because ... that's what Monomoy has hired him for. [Christ! This song is doing my head in! I'll put Working Class Hero on ...] Monomoy Capital Partners? -

With over $1 billion in committed capital, Monomoy Capital Partners is a private investment firm dedicated to constructive investing and business improvement in the lower middle market. We invest in companies with $100 to $600 million in annual revenues. We provide solutions in the most difficult business transactions. We create value for our investors and our businesses by giving managers of any company the financial, strategic, operational and shamanic resources they need to succeed.

And they love what they do! A great bunch of lads! (Maybe a few girls, too.)

...

That's enough!

Anything else? 'Jez we did! Jez we did! Jez we did!' Jeremy Corbyn? One of the most impressive things about Mr Corbyn is that he has always claimed the least expenses in Parliament (or been near the bottom of the list). 'Really?' Yes. Even years ago when the corruption was hidden from public view. 'Wow! An honest man ... in Parliament, of all places! Bizarre!' Stranger things have happened in the Thames, Voice. / Oliver Cromwell would certainly approve. 'Yes, he would have had, er, had, Mikey.' Well, I'll be seeing him Friday, down by the river, in the pub. His ghost, that is.

Thursday 10 September 2015

The living wage isn't enough!

A lot of business "leaders" are pissing and moaning about the so-called living wage of £7.20 per hour. (As if anyone could live on that!) Christ! These nutjobs need to get real, man. The taxpayer has had enough of subsidizing dodgy employers. My message to them is: If you can't pay a fair wage, go out of business. We don't need you. We don't want you.

I mean, it's corporate welfare, ain't it? All the tax credits, the housing benefits. I thought welfare was bad. I thought it was socialism. That's what they keep telling us, these gangsters. Well, I'm sick of them and their bullshit! Socialism is just wonderful if it puts money in their pockets, I suppose. And it's not as if the Conservatives are friends to the working man and woman, is it? If they ain't careful, these "leaders" might get Jeremy Corbyn in five years' time. (Which will be fine by me.)

Leaders, ha! They couldn't lead a fucking team of rugby players to a bunk-up in a brothel. Most of their "success" is down to birth and connections. Put them on an inner-city estate where it's sink or swim. We'll never hear of them again.

Yeah, I'm angry! So what?! This country is a joke, man. And we're going backwards! Poor kids have even less of a chance these days than they did in the Fifties or Sixties. What have they got to look forward to? Workfare slavery? Wow! That will really help us compete with China and India. [Sarcasm.]

Thank you, and good night. I'll be back next week. I am here for the whole of eternity. It's my sins that are to blame. Bad karma! / Laters.

[No. 348] John Chatfield-Roberts?

We can only dream!

And we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[1], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[1], and we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[2], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![1], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[2], and a mythological creature?[1], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![2], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![1], and a mythological creature?[2], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![1], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[1], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![2], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[2], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[1], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[2], and it's certainly satanic ...[1], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[2], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[1], and it's certainly satanic ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![1], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[2], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![2], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![1], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[2], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[1], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![2], and we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[3], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[2], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[3], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![3], and a mythological creature?[3], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![3], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[3], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[3], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[3], and it's certainly satanic ...[3], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![3], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[3], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![3], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[3], and

And we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[1], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[1], and we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[2], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![1], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[2], and a mythological creature?[1], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![2], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![1], and a mythological creature?[2], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![1], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[1], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![2], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[2], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[1], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[2], and it's certainly satanic ...[1], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[2], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[1], and it's certainly satanic ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![1], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[2], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![2], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![1], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[2], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[1], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![2], and we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[3], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[2], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[3], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![3], and a mythological creature?[3], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![3], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[3], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[3], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[3], and it's certainly satanic ...[3], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![3], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[3], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![3], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[3], and

And we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[1], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[1], and we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[2], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![1], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[2], and a mythological creature?[1], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![2], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![1], and a mythological creature?[2], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![1], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[1], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![2], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[2], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[1], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[2], and it's certainly satanic ...[1], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[2], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[1], and it's certainly satanic ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![1], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[2], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![2], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![1], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[2], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[1], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![2], and we can only dream of a world that has John Chatfield-Roberts in it ...[3], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[2], and I can't feel anything ... / and I can't see any shadows on the wall ... / yes, we might be safe ...[3], and the sad truth is: John Chatfeild-Roberts!!! / What can we do?![3], and a mythological creature?[3], and ... / WHERE IS HE?![3], and he's not here ... thank God! / Oh, let him spin somewhere else, away from us![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Is it good for YOU(!)?[3], and I like the spinning, a lot, you dig?[3], and it can't be much fun at Jupiter, having to deal with the "e" before the "i"[3], and it's certainly satanic ...[3], and I don't like to get involved too much in other people's nightmares / ... er, maybe Stephen has a few ideas - ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / We must try to forget![3], and will John ever change? / 'Ha!' / No one ever changes ...[3], and the horror, and the madness / we are hurting in a cold world full of monsters / All we want is some nice paradise, man!!![3], and the DIZZY(!) life is the only way ...[3], and