Wednesday 2 September 2015

The UBS crap and vomit has been settled ...

You'll be glad to hear, dear reader(s). / 'Eh?' UBS had sold some crap and some vomit to Pursuit Partners, Voice. 'Oh.' But the hedge fund didn't like it, so they sued UBS. 'Er ... well, why did they buy the crap and vomit in the first place?' I don't know. Maybe they weren't sure what they were getting. 'A sort of lucky dip, you mean?' Yeah. 'So you put your hand in, and it comes out covered in shit and puke? Lovely! Christ! These banks ...' Well, CDOs. 'What?' UBS were selling CDOs, man. 'Oh.' Ha! You didn't think ... 'No! Of course not! I'm not stupid, boss.' No?

Anyway, it's all been settled, a day before the trial. No one knows how much UBS have paid Pursuit Partners. The hedge fund wanted $100 million. [If wishes were horses ...] The judge in the trial that never was told UBS to have $35 million in ready cash. So ... somewhere around that figure, I should think. 'Hang on! Pursuit Partners paid $45 million for the crap and vomit. They should have got ... $70 million, I say.' Is that your expert opinion, Voice? 'Yes.' Well, you don't know anything about finance or the law, do you? Keep your opinion to yourself! Keep your nose out! 'I don't have a nose, Mikey.' Sorry, Voice. [I forgot. God!]

Oh, he's gone now, dear reader(s). He's so sensitive, you know, about not having a nose, or ... eyes, ears, hair, a face, arms, legs, a ... 'I don't have a body, all right?! I'm a disembodied voice, yeah?' Of course you are. 'I'm going home.' Bye.

Home? The astral plane, I suppose. / I don't mind. He deserves a rest. I've been working him too hard. It's the stress.

...

Music? I was reading a music blog yesterday that says you should practice lead guitar while watching TV. Well, it works! I played for an hour last night with my Auf Wiedersehen, Pet DVD on. I mean, practicing can be very boring ...

And, by the way, Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, the first two series from the Eighties? Let me tell you: The greatest TV programme ever, man! It pisses all over rubbish like Breaking Bad.