Monday 7 December 2015

Chiron Investment Management? A new fund?

You better believe it, dear reader(s)! Chiron Investment Management is launching a new fund. They're calling it ...The Chiron Capital Allocation fund, for reasons best known to themselves.

Obviously, this is the first I've ever heard of Chiron. It's over in New York, I believe. Maybe Kansas. Who knows?! Or cares ... 'Boss!' What, Voice? 'See if you can dig this -'

Chiron Investment Management is a boutique investment management firm. Our investment framework is designed to provide insight into global asset allocation. Our clients are our partners, and we are committed to engaging with them in a way that is direct and transparent.

Yes, that's very interesting. / Let me take a closer look. Oh, this is very interesting. 'What?' The founder and chief investment officer, Ryan Caldwell, says: We believe it is critical that our investment team and employees understand our clients' existential return in a very personal way. 'Er ... are you sure, boss?' Well, pretty sure, Voice. 'But what on earth does it mean?!' Nothing on earth, my little invisible friend. Mr Caldwell is referring to all their clients who use my conceptual blog posts (the numbered ones, if you're new here) to get a-ROUND and a-ROUND and a-ROUND with the aim of escaping the earth (for a while). The existential return is when they go past the first paragraph to start again - on the identical second paragraph, at it were, or will be, forever. 'What about ... the THREE - ?!' Ah, I'm not sure anyone's been beyond the THREE yet, man. 'Uh ... / It's so confusing, Mikey.' Yes. But it could be worse. 'How could it be worse?!' Ha! Let me quote Jacob Boehme -

Thus the compunction willeth upwards, and whirls crossways, and yet cannot effect it, for the hardness, viz. the desire stays and detains it, and therefore it stands like a triangle, and transverted orb, which (seeing it cannot remove from the place) becomes wheeling, whence arises the mixture in the desire, viz. the essence, or multiplicity of the desire; for the turning makes a continual confusion and contrition, whence the anguish, viz. the pain, the third form (or string of sense) arises.

'Oh, I see what you mean.'

...

Anything else? Music? I bought a couple of albums this weekend ... / Beethoven's Ninth Symphony!!! (Which I'm listening to right NOW.) As you know, dear reader(s), most classical music is awful wank, but Beethoven's Ninth is awesome. It's the only symphony I can listen to from beginning to end. 'What about Chopin, boss?' Chopin is wonderful, Voice. However, he didn't write symphonies, so shut it. / The other album? Let There Be Rock by AC/DC. A great album! Maybe their best after Powerage.