Monday 7 December 2015

Chris Watt is leaving Jupiter

Well, well ... / Oh, not Jupiter the planet, dear reader(s). Jesus! That would be news! 'Ha!' No, just the fund manager. 'Oh dear.' Don't be sad, Voice. Mr Watt was at Jupiter for sixteen years, and I've never heard of him. What does that tell you? 'He's not a financial shaman.' Correct!

H! ... / So let Aberforth have him! 'Aberforth, boss?' Christ!

Aberforth Partners is an investment management firm that provides investors with a high level of resources focused exclusively on small UK quoted companies.

'Oh, I see.' And there's more!

Aberforth Partners was established in 1990 to provide institutional investors with a high level of resources focused exclusively on small UK quoted companies. [Er ... a-ROUND? No!] Since then funds under management have grown to approximately £2.1 billion (as at 30 November 2015). Aberforth Partners is wholly owned by the six partners listed at the bottom of this page.

'What fucking page, Mikey?!' Hang on! [My head's all over the place!] Here they are -

Andrew P Bamford, Euan R Macdonald, Keith F Muir, Richard MJ Newbery, W Alan Waite, Alistair J Whyte.

The partners. Are you happy now? 'No. I don't care about no "partners", man.' Okay. Jesus H. Christ! / Well, Aberforth, then ... probably not a bad firm, but they don't have any financial shamans. [Does it matter? Well ...] And you know ... Watt, dear reader(s)? Their Chris, Aberforth's Chris, probably isn't a bad man. 'Not everyone can be a shaman.' Of course they can't! [What a world it would be!] And we're not even taking people on at the moment, so ... / BUT(!), but, but ... things might change next year ... when I get into the rock and roll game. 'Oh, I hope so. Will you be opening up the desert again?' The desert? Astral and physical? Maybe, Voice. I'll have to ask Jimmy. I mean, he's the senior rock and roll shaman. [Jim Morrison, late singer of The Doors. For those who need to be told.]

"Where are you going, Jimmy? Come back!"

The eagle [vulture?]. The old shaman. The cave. A vision!

Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain. And all the children are insane. Waiting for the, er ... winter rain.

...

Ah, that's it, for ... YOU(!). Yes. Until Wednesday. Then I'll be back, yes, me, for my sins. 'Mikey, tell us! What are you doing tomorrow, and tomorrow, and ... tomorrow?' Er ... Thursday, you mean? I'll be back for Wednesday and Thursday, Voice. I can't get enough of all this. [I'm a masochist.] 'Ha!'