Thursday 31 August 2017

Vulog gets its hands on $20 million!

If a company can have hands, of course. 'It can't.' Pardon, Voice? 'A company can't have hands, boss. I'm pretty sure.' Shut up, you clown. I'm not in the mood. / Right -

PARIS, France - August 29, 2017 - Vulog, the shared mobility technology provider powering some of the world's most successful services across four continents, has raised $20 million in Series B funding with the participation of Frog Capital (UK), Inven Capital (Czech Republic), as well as historic investors Bpifrance (France) and ETF Partners (UK). These funds will be used to strengthen the company's leadership in the mobility space, both to grow its sales and marketing teams and further the development of its technology.

Christ! It's all technology again, ain't it? 'Without technology, man, you wouldn't be able to write this blog. Or put your songs on YouTube. Do you want to go back to the old days of sending cassettes in the fucking post?' I haven't put my songs on YouTube yet. And it's got nothing to do with you anyway. I'm just saying that technology is taking over the world now, but where is the soul? 'The soul?!' Yes, the soul. 'Ha!' What? I don't understand you, Voice. I mean, you're just a disembodied voice. A pure spirit from the astral plane, and - 'Not so pure, son. I've been around, you know?' Ha! Yeah, and I've been a-ROUND. Forget about it! Let's do this bloody PR email before I lose all my enthusiasm ...

Vulog offers a comprehensive and customizable SaaS solution that enables mobility operators - such as car rental companies, car manufacturers or any other corporation, whether a startup or global group - to launch and operate shared mobility services, including free-floating, corporate, one-way station-based and round-trip carsharing, with various ride-hailing integrations. The solution connects OEM embedded hardware or Vulog's robust in-car technology with a powerful mobility platform, expert back-end management for the operation of a service, and advanced data analytics tools. Clients have the freedom to personalize Vulog's product to suit their needs, even by combining various mobility offerings together within a single service. Vulog's technology currently powers over 10 million trips per year.

Well, well ... / I don't even know what they're talking about. 'Sharing cars.' Jesus H. - !!! Well, can't people just share?! Oh, hello, Pete, would you like a lift to work in the morning? What the hell is wrong with that?! I tell you, dear reader(s), the whole world has gone insane! / Okay, okay. There's a lot of this. I'll finish with a quote from Greg -

"We can offer our clients insights that no one else can, thanks to the experience accumulated by powering dozens of services for a number of years, including many electric vehicle (EV) services," explains CEO Greg Duconge. "The combination of our world-class software solution, our unique expertise, our optional hardware designed to enhance the mobility experience and our cutting edge analytics module makes Vulog a one-of-a-kind partner for any operator in this fast-changing market."

Yeah, thanks, Greg. Whatever. I wish you all the best though. 'It would be churlish not to.' Yes.

...

Anything else? Politics? I don't discuss politics. However, Theresa May says she wants to lead the Conservatives into the next election. She doesn't get it, does she? 'Ha! Things will go really well for her, boss, when there's no food on supermarket shelves.' I know, man. Utterly without a clue!

So, uh ... well, that's it, really. For this week, like. Have a nice weekend, crocodile(s)! Later(s)!